The History of Love
by FadedEclipse
Summary: Previously titled Teaching Mr. Cullen. Bella has a thing for her new History teacher, Edward Cullen, who takes notice to her as well. And he'll soon realize that he is not the only one doing the teaching in this class.
1. The Meeting

**BPOV**

I made my way to History class, a little bit nervous, while ignoring the death glares students were giving me. It was extremely apparent why I was nervous, it was my first official day at Forks High. Lauren and Jessica kept droning on and on at lunch about how good looking Mr. Cullen, the history teacher, was. The two girls aren't the worst people you'll ever meet, but I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them. I honestly didn't believe anyone was capable of looking the way they described him so I just passed it off as over exaggeration.

I was snapped out of my own thoughts when, out of the blue, someone's leg came out of no where and tripped me. My books crashed to the floor, and I fully expected myself to follow. But two strong arms grabbed my waist before I was able to. I looked up to see my savior, and gasped at what I saw.

My savior had disheveled bronze-hair that was just screaming 'Touch me! Touch me!'. Piercing green eyes, unnatural, so full of life and happiness it was almost contagious. His jawline was strong and square. His nose, straight and his cheek bones prominent. I knew I was staring like an imbecile but I didn't care. This man had all the features and perfections of an angel.

He stared right back at me, his soft face abruptly turned into one of anger. And I briefly wondered if I was the cause of it before he spoke, tearing his hypnotizing gaze away from me.

"Lauren. Principle's office. Now." he said in a firm tone, fixating his eyes back on me. He had a sweet, velvet voice that took my breath away.

Lauren huffed, angry, and started walking down the hall. Though I'm pretty sure it _wasn't_ towards the Principle's Office. But the angel didn't notice, he quickly turned his attention back on me.

"I'm sorry about her, she's always be a little bit of a problem here. You're Isabella Swan, are you not?" he smiled a brilliant crooked smile.

_He said my name! _

I felt like jumping around like a child on Christmas morning.

I stood there, looking at him, dumbfounded. It was then that his arms were still around my waist.

_Awkwaaard..._

"Y-yeah. Actually, it's Bella." I stuttered.

He chuckled, it was almost musical.

"Well, Bella, I'm Mr. Cullen. Please, call me Edward." He said as he bent down to pick up my long forgotten books.

_Holy shit, this was Mr. Cullen? Jess and Lauren were right! Hot damn!_

_Stop it Bella! This is your teacher, he's too old for you!_

"Oh, no, please let me get those. They are mine, after all." I said but just as I bent down, his head whipped up and they, of course, crashed together.

"Ow," We mumbled in unison, as I rubbed my forehead, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to... I mean, I was just -" I rambled but he cut me off.

"Please, don't apologize. It's perfectly fine," he said as he picked my schedule sheet and stared at it intently, "Well, it looks like we'll be seeing each other again soon." he chuckled, noticing that I was heading to History in the first place.

"Oh, yeah." I half-smiled, trying to restart my heart.

"Well, I really should be heading back to my class. It is probably filled with teenagers by now. Lord help me," he chuckled and I joined in, "I'll see you in a bit, Ms. Swan."

After Mr. Cull... Edward left, I swiftly made my way to the Girls' restroom, books in hand, to check my appearance. This shocked me, I never really cared about what I looked like, I just dressed in what made me feel comfortable. But, for some odd reason, one look at this man turned my whole world upside down. Unfortunately, since I was this kind of girl, I carried no make up in my back pack, I severely doubted I even had any make up at home for that matter. I always believed in looking natural, I wasn't conceded, but I was confident enough not to walk around with pounds of make-up on that weighed more than me. It was times like this that I wished for a best friend that knew everything about fashion, someone that could really hook me up when I needed it, and someone who could do my hair and make-up for me. But I guess that would just continue to be a dream because there is no human being who is that obsessed.

I checked my appearance once more. A pair of skinny jeans, Nike sneakers, and a v-neck cream shirt. Just plain and simple. _This is as good as it's gonna get_, I thought to myself. After digging a hairbrush out of my backpack and running it through my locks, I quickly scrambled out of the restroom and to class just in time.

"Ah, Ms. Swan, so nice of you to join us." Edward beamed. With any other teacher I would immediately have thought that to be a sarcastic remark, but with Edward it actually seemed like a genuine greeting.

I nodded in response, returning the smile.

My face fell when I noticed who I was sitting next to.

Mike Newton.

Mike had managed to taken on the qualities of a golden retriever the moment I had walked through the school doors. He truly was a sweet guy, but I quickly learned that he wasn't able to take a hint.

"So... the spring dance is coming up, huh? Exciting." he said nonchalantly.

"Mhm." I mumbled, hoping he would drop it.

He never did.

"I was thinking... maybe you'd like to go with me?" he inquired nervously.

"Actually, Mike, I don't dance." I declared. It was the truth, my feet were death traps all their own.

"Oh, I could always teach you." he said with a wink, and I suppressed the urge to shudder.

"I'm not going to do the dance, period. It's as simple as that. Sorry." I mused, trying to make the reluctance in my voice obvious enough.

"Yeah. Sorry." he mumbled before leaning back into his seat.

Somewhere deep inside I felt bad for turning him down... somewhere very... very... very... deep inside, but with Mike the words 'letting them down easy' don't even exist in his vocabulary. He is persistent, I figured out that if you don't make it painfully obvious that you don't want to go out than... you end up totally screwed.

Thankfully, just then Mr. Cullen began speaking.

After class I was reluctant to leave. I noticed every once and a while Mr. Cullen's gaze would land on me, he never even asked me to give an answer, he just... stared at me with an odd look in his eyes. I briefly considered going up to his desk and calling him on it but I decided against it, I would probably just end up making a fool of myself.

"Remember everyone, work hard, study hard. I don't expect any less of you." Mr. Cullen announced.

We were, fortunately, doing a report on Wuthering Heights. A book I read and knew well, though I lost count after reading it for the umpteenth time. I was pretty sure I was able to do a full report on it without even touching the novel, I already knew it by heart any way.

I left the class room stealing one last glance at Mr. Cullen, swiftly looking away when he caught me staring. I left with one thought in mind: _Edward Cullen isn't your average teacher._

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**A/N: Reviews are much appreciated.**


	2. Almost

**BPOV**

The next day at school I was a nervous wreck, pretty much the same as the first day, but this time I had exceptionally different reasons. I had barely slept at all, and the hour of sleep I managed to get were filled with dreams of Mr. Cullen. I couldn't get him out of my head no matter how hard I tried. Not that I wanted to but I was still angry that all my effort was wasted.

I used to enjoy history, but I can't help but look at it differently now. I was scared that I wouldn't meet Mr. Cullen's approval. In Phoenix, I wasn't really out to impress guys, and now I feel the need to put make-up on in the mornings and look a little extra glamorous which is definitely out of character for me. I wasn't going to change who I was for a crush, but a little lip gloss and tight jeans never hurt a girl. Well, that maybe not be true for the tight jeans part but still.

I was taken aback how fast this man... my _teacher_... could change me this fast in a day. Though it's not like many people would notice the change, I hadn't made a single friend here, and I was only living with my father, who isn't nearly as perceptive as I am. Either that, or he didn't say a word about my new look for fear of bringing up an awkward subject. I'm not sure what I was getting so worked up for any way, he was probably taken. His girlfriend was probably just as gorgeous as him, inhumanly beautiful. I could never be able to compare to her.

But it didn't really matter to me who noticed or who didn't, if he was taken or not, I honestly just wanted to impress this man. _You are insane, Bella Swan._

At lunch, Jessica was blabbing about Mr. Cullen once again, my plan was to tune her out, just sit quietly, not say a word, eat the food on my tray, and try not to doze off. That was until she dragged me back into the conversation.

"Am I right, Bella?" Jessica inquired.

My head snapped up, "Huh?"

"Is Mr. Cullen hot or what?" she said, rolling her eyes at my lack of attention.

"Um... oh yeah, he is pretty handsome." I mumbled in a rush.

"Pfft, handsome isn't even the word for it."

"I know, right?" Lauren stepped in, "And he looks so sexy in those clothes I can't even imagine what he would look like out of them." she drooled, and I glared. I still wasn't over her almost tripping me in the halls yesterday, but I suppose it was a good thing, it was how I met Mr. Cullen.

I wasn't really interested in where this conversation was heading. Well... okay, maybe a little but... _Dammit, Bella, you are such a perv! _I mean, I _was_ only human, and woman at that, I was bound to have these thoughts, but even I was able to see the true beauty in Edward Cullen while everyone else was most likely blinded by lust and envy, fixated on only his body. But I liked everything about him, even the things that had nothing to do with looks: his musical laugh, his sweet, kind, and polite demeanor, and the way he strives to help his students, he truly wants better for everyone he teaches, and he helps them get there. He cares, and that is why I love Edward Cullen. _Whoa... love? Stop yourself right there, Bella. _I do _not_ love him. I wanted to hit my forehead hard in hopes of knocking out all of the... descriptive images that filled my head in that moment, but if I were to do that in front of my fellow peers, well... the only good that would do me is a trip to the loony bin. Those images of Edward shirtless, sweaty, his beautiful bronze-hair soaked from the rain and...erm... I think I actually may need a cold shower when I go home later.

"... all I really wanna know is how his hot, hard -" Lauren piped but was interrupted by the warning bell. _Thank god, I did not want to hear the rest of that sentence._

My fairly calm mood quickly fizzled when I realized what class was next.

_History._

I stumbled my way towards the now dreaded class, watching now for any student legs that may be sticking out in the hallway. _Hey, maybe if that happens again I could officially meet my English teacher._

I was so wrapped in my own thoughts that I hadn't realized when I had crashed into someone. I thought for sure I would go flying to the floor but two arms caught and steadied before that happened.

"We have _got_ to stop meeting like this." a musical voice chuckled.

"Mr. Cullen." I breathed.

"What have I told you, Bella? Call me Edward, Mr. Cullen makes me feel so old." I laughed breathlessly at that.

"Right, I'm sorry, Edward. And you're right, if we meet like this every time we are definitely going to end up bruised... or at least I am."

He chuckled but stopped short, his eyes held an emotion that I wasn't able to fathom. My breath hitched when he pushed back a few stray locks of hair behind my ear. It was a simple action between two people who barely knew each other, but felt so intimate.

He leaned in, his hot breath fanning my face, and it was all I could to keep from moaning aloud. If his strong arms weren't holding me by my shoulders I'm pretty sure my wobbling legs would have given out, causing me to hit the floor. _Yup, that's a true Bella move. Pass out when the hot guy is trying to kiss you._

I closed my eyes, parting my lips, already knowing what his intentions were. This was all happening so _soon_, but it felt so _right._

We both jumped as the bell rang for the second time that day, and I groaned aloud for all the _wrong_ reasons, causing Edward to chuckle.

"Oh god, Bella, please forgive me. That was inappropriate. I'm so sorry." he rambled remorsefully.

I silenced him, placing my index finger on his lips, "Don't apologize. It takes two to tango," I said more confidently than I ever expected, "Besides, I... I wanted it."

His eyes almost popped out of his head as I grabbed my things and headed for class. I felt a surge of confidence run through me. I felt almost... desirable. I just left my teacher dumbfounded in the middle of the school hallway after our almost-kiss. Yup... definitely desirable.

All I knew was that sleep was the last thing on my mind in that very moment.

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**A/N: Reviews are much appreciated.**


	3. Rumors & Invitations

**BPOV**

It was safe to say that I was practically dead on my feet. I had gotten absolutely no sleep the night before. I was much too excited to return to school – the one place I was rarely ever excited to go to – just to see Edward. After our 'almost kiss' my thoughts were constantly returning back to him, so much it was driving me insane, and in the bad way. This couldn't be healthy. I barely even knew this man, and yet I feel like I've known him for years. This isn't a good way to start out a relationship – teacher and student. _Wait... what relationship?_ I was already getting carried away in my own thoughts.

There is no hope of a relationship between us. I wasn't so low as to date a teacher, and it seemed as if Edward certainly didn't plan on becoming romantically involved with a student. It may sound over dramatic but Edward and I came from two separate worlds. He was a thirty year old, mature teacher with an established career. I was... I was just Bella, an ordinary seventeen year old who took up unwanted space in Forks High. I would just drag him down any way. He should be settled down, married, and already have a family. That hasn't happened yet, but... one day it will, and I wouldn't be able to give that to him yet.

I sighed heavily at the thought, attempting to rid the empty ache in my chest. It felt like whenever I was with Edward, the emptiness never even existed. It felt like when it was just the two of us together, everything else in the world melted away – no matter how incredibly cheesy it may sound it was the truth. _This can never happen_, I thought to myself.

"Is that her?" I heard someone whisper.

"Are you serious?"

"I can't believe it..."

"No way..."

"She did? Really?"

"It's always the quiet ones..."

The whispers continued, and I could tell that they were directed at me. It didn't bother me much until I heard a familiar nasal voice whisper, "Look at her, moving in _my_ territory..." I turned to see her shooting me a death glare.

_Lauren._

"Slut!" she called out, and I froze. Right in the middle of the hallway, in front of everyone, she had insulted me. The worst part, she was laughing about it with her cronies.

"What?" I spat out.

"We all know you slept with Edward!" I felt my face flush and my stomach drop. _Who the hell had said that?_

"Stop lying, Lauren. You know we didn't do anything." I defended.

She stalked towards me, apparently not wanting the entire student body to hear our conversation, "Yes, but no one else knows that," she grinned devilishly, "Look, Swan, you're alright and everything, but put your dirty little hands on my Edward again, well... I won't be so nice." she said with a smirk before walking away.

How dare she! Edward isn't her 'territory.' He's a human being. Why doesn't she just go and piss on him while she's at it? Officially claim him as hers. Hell, maybe she already has... with Lauren you never know.

"Look, it's the whore." Tyler laughed, and I cringed, fighting the tears that there pricking at my eyes from the total humiliation.

Lauren Mallory had just ruined any chances I ever had of having any sort of good reputation. From now on I'll probably just be known as 'the school slut.' Correction: 'the school whore,' as Tyler so elegantly put it.

"That's enough everyone!" an angel shouted, and I immediately knew who it was.

"Edward," I couldn't help but say his name, the feel of it rolling off my tongue was indescribable. I suddenly felt a lump rise in my throat at the remembrance at what had almost happened in these very halls yesterday.

He smiled that crooked grin that I loved, "Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" I said, waving off his concern. The truth was, I knew I would be fine. As long as I had Edward. _Gaahh, where'd that come from?_

"I heard what everything Lauren said."

"Ah, eavesdropping, are we? Not a very good quality, Mr. Cullen." I teased.

He chuckled, "Do you blame me? Cat fight!" he said, shaping his hands like claws and hissing.

I laughed aloud because he was just too cute sometimes. It was so hard to keep my hands off of him, but I thought that maybe running my hands repeatedly over his body and saying, '_you're pretty_' would not go over well.

"Don't worry about Lauren. Honestly, what can she do? You're talking to me now and," he gasped in mock surprise, "you're alive!" he chuckled.

"Ha, obviously then you've never met Lauren. You don't know what she's capable of."

"Unfortunately, though, I have had the non-pleasurable opportunity of meeting our wonderful Lauren." he gagged, and I smiled. When I didn't respond, though, he continued, "Bella, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"You just did." I teased, smiling.

"Okay, fine, then two questions." he chuckled.

"Ask away." I encouraged.

"Would you... like to spend the day with me and my siblings tomorrow?" he asked apprehensively.

My eyes widened at that, _he_ wants to spend the day with _me_? With his siblings, but still. He wants _me_ to go.

"Doing what?" I expressed excitedly.

"The carnival is coming to town, and I was planning on going. But if that's not your thing, it's perfectly fine. We could always do something else if you'd like." he rambled on.

"Of course," I answered a bit too quickly.

"Great! That's wonderful." he said excitedly, and I blushed tomato red at his reaction.

"Why don't I pick you up?"

"Oh, such a gentleman," I teased, "but that would definitely be a bad idea. I wouldn't want my dad questioning why my thirty year old teacher is picking me up in his Volvo." It was the truth, explaining this situation to Charlie would be like my worst nightmare come true... well, besides the one where I'm standing in the middle of class in only my underwear but that's beside the point.

"Good point," he place the tip of index finger on his chin in mock concentration and I couldn't help but giggle, "I'll tell you what, why don't we both just meet each other at the carnival? It's not exactly in my gentleman-like nature but I doubt it will raise any suspicion." he amended, raising an eyebrow in anticipation of my reaction.

"That sounds good." I mused casually, though inside I was screaming '_Yes! Yes! Finally!'_

"So... where will this carnival be?"

He gave me the directions and location for it, "One more thing... have you ever been on a ferris wheel?" he conveyed wonderingly.

"Once before... and my lunch really punished me for it." I responded, clutching my stomach, and he chuckled.

"Right. Okay then, I'll see you in class, Ms. Swan." he added with a wink that sent tingles down my spine.

_Oh yeah... high school is definitely my favorite place in the world right now._

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**A/N: Reviews are much appreciated.**


	4. Carnival

**BPOV**

I managed to catch up on my sleep on Friday night. I was more excited than ever to hang out with Edward and his siblings the next day but the two nights prior without sleep really caught up with me. I felt refreshed and energized when I opened my eyes to see bright yellow shining it's way in through my window. Sun. That was rare in Forks, but what a day for the yellow orb to poke it's head out: the one day I get to spend with Edward. Perhaps it was a sign. A sign? I was reading way too much into the weather. _Okay, Bella no more news channel for you._ I couldn't help it, the weather guy was just so freaking... hot.

I quickly jumped into the shower, yelping as the scolding hot water hit my skin. After, I blow dried and curled my mahogany hair. I dressed in faded blue jeans, sleeveless tank top, with a pair of women's designer Prada sandals, courtesy of my mother Renee. She was the closest thing I had to the words 'fashion expertise' though she was so far away, she was always sending me different things. For once, I was actually grateful for that.

I made up a bowl of Lucky Charms (I know I'm an excellent cook) and ate it rather quickly with a cup of orange juice, chugging it down, the excitement getting the better of me.

I was almost out the door when my cellphone rang. I had my mind set on heading to the carnival, and almost didn't answer it. But I'm glad I did.

"Hello?" I said, irritated.

"Bella?" a soft velvet voice on the other end conveyed.

"Edward? How'd you get my number?"

"You're listed." he chuckled.

"Damn Charlie," I mumbled under my breath, "How were you so sure that you would get the right person?"

"How many Isabella Swan's do you know that are in Forks?"

"You've got a good point there."

"Why are you calling?"

"Oh, just making sure you haven't forgotten about little old me."

_Yeah like that's possible, _I mentally snorted.

"Nope, actually, I'm heading down there now."

"Great, just remember, no ferris wheels." he joked.

"Don't worry, my stomach always reminds me everytime I get into even a five miles radius of one of those."

After driving down to the Forks Carnival, I could see what all the excitement was about. Despite the tiny size of Forks, the carnival was rather... huge. There were children everywhere, laughing, playing and running. Cotton candy machines, hot dog and concession stands. I spotted a bean bag toss and children getting their faces painted before my gaze landed on one very important person. _Edward._

He noticed me and waved me over. He was surrounded by a few people, who I assumed to be his brothers and sisters.

"Bella!" Edward exclaimed happily before pulling me into a hug. It was a simple gesture that I'm sure was only seen to him as friendly, but it left me struggling to restart my heart.

"Hi Edward," I smiled, reluctantly letting go of him, "And you must be..." I trailed off.

"Bella, this is my sister Alice, and my brother Emmett." he amended, gesturing towards the short, spiky-haired pixie with a wide smile, and the tall, burly man with blue eyes, a smile also plastered across his face. He, at first glance, would look intimidating but his smile seemed warm and genuine, causing me to quickly relax around his presence.

"Hi, I'm Bella," _Wow, way to state the obvious, _"It's nice to meet you." I stated happily.

"Hi, Bella!" the pixie chirped, her grin wide, "I can tell we're going to be great friends!" she exclaimed, pulling me into a hug.

"Can't... breathe..." I choked it, causing her to giggle.

"Alice, I'd rather you not kill my gir... friend, my friend." Edward conveyed nervously.

Alice gave him a knowing smile before letting me go, "Sorry, Bella." she said, her voice still happy and energetic, her eyes falling on Edward for a brief moment, giving him a nod, before she turned her back to us to strike up a conversation with Emmett.

I turned to Edward and whispered in his ear, "What was that all about?" I questioned.

I felt him stiffen, "What was what all about?" he retorted.

I rolled my eyes, "You know... the nod." I stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"That's just my sister being her usual crazy self." he waved her off.

I could tell that there was more of what was going on under the surface but he obviously wasn't going to tell me so I didn't feel the need to harp on it for too long. There was just one more question I was dying to ask.

"No offense, but... is your sister on crack?"

He threw his head back in laughter, "She did have a fascination with paint chips when she was younger. That's about all I can tell you."

"You know I can hear you, right?" Alice said without turning around.

"Yes, sister dear. We know." he grinned devilishly.

My eyes then fixated themselves on a inhumanly beautiful blond woman, tall and slender, clear crystal blue eyes that would put Mexican waters to shame. Next to her stood a tall, strong yet boyish looking guy with the same shade of blond invading his hair, along with the crystal blue eyes, though his were a little bit darker.

"Hello? What are we chopped liver?" the blond guy asked, an amused smile playing on his lips.

"Oh, yes, I'm sorry. Bella, meet the chopped liver," he joked, "This is Jasper, Alice's boyfriend, and Rosalie here is Emmett's. Jazz and Rose here are twins."

I shook hands with them both, "It's nice to meet you both."

"So, you're the famous Bella." Rosalie amended.

"Excuse me?" I questioned, quirking an eyebrow.

"Oh, come on, you don't know? Edward is always -"

"Okay, Rosalie, that's enough." Edward interrupted.

"But I was just gonna tell her that -"

"Hey, look, Orlando Bloom!" he cut in once again.

Her eyes widened, "Where?" she turned, Edward grabbed my arm and dragged me as far away from Rosalie as he could get, I heard her yell a quick 'Hey!' in frustration before she was out of her view.

"You have... quite the family." I stated, not terribly sure how to put the words.

"Yes... yes I know, I'm so very proud." he said sarcastically, causing me to giggle. His face abruptly turned into one of realization.

"What is it?"

"It's nothing."

"It's never nothing. What's wrong?"

"It's... just that... I haven't told..." he trailed off.

"Haven't told what?"

"I haven't told them that you're my student."

"Is that it? What's wrong with that?"

"Well, I don't know, I'm not exactly sure where this stands with them."

"Edward, you're confusing me. We're all just friends here," my heart ached at the statement, "Would anyone really care if I was your student or not?"

I saw pain flash across his eyes before he composed himself, "Yes, of course, you're right. We're all friends here." he smiled, though it seemed forced.

"Hey, do you mind if we get something to eat?" I said, pointing at the concession stand, desperate to change the subject.

"Sure, why not? I am pretty hungry." he mentioned, patting his stomach and chuckling.

After we both grabbed a hot dog and a coke we sat down at one of the picnic tables and began talking.

"So, Bella, tell me about yourself."

"Um... well, I was born here in Forks. But my parents split when I was a few months old. My mom, Renee, took me with her when she moved to California. We stayed there until I was about six and then went to Phoenix. I was pretty broken up about it at the time, despite the young age, I made some pretty nice friends in Cali and I missed them," he nodded in understanding, "So, my mom remarried when I was fourteen to a minor league baseball player. They were sweet newlyweds and everything. But in the end, I suggested moving back here to spend more time with my father because, well... let's face it, I got tired of laying awake at night wondering if Phil was murdering my mom what with all the screams," he chuckled at this, "And, now... I'm here. I think that pretty much covers my life story. Any questions?"

"Are you happy here?" he inquired, concerned. I noticed that he was looking intently at my lips.

My throat went dry and I took a sip of my coke to soothe it, "Erm, no one's ever really asked me that one before."

"Well, I'm asking you now." he amended, leaning in just a little bit closer.

"I think... life has been better ever since I started Forks High." I stated truthfully.

"Oh, really?" he teased, his lips turning into a beautiful crooked grin as he took my face in his hands.

"Very much so, yes." I breathed, trying not to let the effect he had on me show.

It obviously hadn't worked because his sexy grin became even wider. His lips were centimeters from mine. I could feel his hot breathe against my awaiting mouth and I bit back a moan.

_Yes, so close... _

_Almost there..._

_His lips are barely even brushing mine now..._

"Hey, guys!" a booming voice yelled.

Edward groaned, aggravated. "Emmett." he growled.

"What'd I do?" he asked, unknowingly giving us a puppy like face that made our anger instantly melt away.

_Silly Emmett. _

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**A/N: Forgive me if there are errors of any kind in this one. I proof read it beforehand but I make mistakes, I'm only human... *sigh* unfortunately. He screwed up their moment, but I still love Emmett dearly. So, no bashing the big teddy bear!**


	5. Look Who's Back In School

**BPOV**

It had been a week since the carnival, and Edward and I had barely said a worth to each other, never mind the exchanged glances here and there. But that was it. The almost kiss really made things awkward for us. And I couldn't understand why. We had been in a situation like this once before and we acted as if nothing happened. Maybe this second time caused the tension to grow, to become too much. I, for one, was getting really tired of being interrupted.

Maybe this was a sign. Maybe we really weren't meant to be and there was a reason to why we were never able to connect that way. I mean, we _were_ able to connect that way, it just seemed as if the whole world didn't want us to. And I knew for sure the chemistry was there (I snorted, _Chemistry with the History teacher_) but just because something feels good doesn't always make it right. Dammit, now I was quoting my mom in her 'no sex until age 35' speech. I was so screwed.

I was cautiously walking to English, careful to not trip over my own two feet. _Yeah, that'll be a first._ I abruptly stopped when I walked past History, the door was wide open. I expected no one to be there, of course, History wasn't until next period. But what I saw made my heart drop.

There was someone there.

Edward.

But, this time, he wasn't alone.

**EPOV**

I was sitting calmly in my chair, grading tests from the day previous. Most teachers find it incredibly annoying to grade work, in fact, it was common that they complained about it in the teacher's lounge, but I found it relaxing.

_Angela Weber – A+ _(She was always a good student, very reserved)

_Eric Yorkie – C – _(He didn't strive to earn the best grades, but he also wasn't the biggest slacker)

_Lauren Mallory – D+ _(No comment)

_Michael Newton – F – _(Typical... very... very... typical)

_Isabella Swan _

I stopped dead in my tracks at the name, and dropped my pen. A lump had risen in my throat. Just by her name. How did she have this sort of effect on me? I had no idea. But the guilt was eating away at me. I hated ignoring her, she was such a sweet girl, one of my best students, so driven and intelligent, I truly admired her self-motivation. Who was I to corrupt such an angel? It was wrong. It was just plain wrong, there was no more to the matter. I was the teacher, she was the student. I should be trying to help her on her school work, not trying to put the moves on her. I was no pervert. I knew this had to come to an end. I was leading her on. I knew I had irrational feelings for her but I shouldn't be the one acting on any of them. Bella was a hormonal teenager, she didn't know any better, really. I was the adult in this situation. I needed to be thinking with the right head. It was my place to put a stop to this.

I could've sworn I caught a flash of strawberry but I ignored it; I was too wrapped up in my thoughts. I needed to figure this out.

"Eddie," a soft, breathy voice whispered, and I winced at the nickname.

_Wait... no, it can't be._

"Tanya?" I gasped, staring at her wide-eyed.

"I'm glad you remember me." she laughed that annoying little laugh of hers, I thought my ears were going to fall off.

"What are you doing here?" I replied angrily.

Tanya and I were introduced three years ago by Carmen, a mutual friend. It took eight months of her begging before I finally gave in, and we started dating. I gave her a little bit of what she wanted, and I thought if eventually she would get sick of me and move on pester another poor, unsuspecting man. Well, rather, in anyone else's eyes, a _lucky_, unsuspecting man. After about a year I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to find a way out and strike up an intelligent conversation with a woman that had more than two braincells. Apparently, my plan had back fired.

"Oh, what? You don't wanna see your girlfriend, Eddie? How rude." she pouted.

"_Ex_-girlfriend," I corrected, "and please don't call me Eddie. You know I hate that." I said through gritted teeth.

"But you didn't mind it during sex, _Eddie_." she stated bluntly.

"You haven't answered my question, Tanya. Why are you here?"

"Of course he doesn't deny the sex part of it," she laughed, "My sister, Irina, I'm sure you remember her, moved here to Forks a few days ago and I'm just helping her get settled. I heard you worked here, small town equals big gossip," she chuckled annoyingly, "and I just wanted to come see you."

_Damn,_ I inwardly groaned. Of course, I had heard about Irina coming to town, big news does travel fast around here. I was just, hoping, maybe, just maybe, that... Tanya got hit by a truck and wouldn't be coming to visit any time soon.

Irina was much like Tanya in many ways. Self-centered, annoying, and a typical vixen. She was another reason why I needed to break it off with her older sister. Being with Tanya was bad enough, but to be with both of them in the same room... I might as well have died and gone directly to hell. No, actually, hell would have been better than that... or even this.

"Oh, you wanted to come alright," I spat, "You just wanted to get in my pants."

"That's not true, Eddie," she gasped melodramatically, placing a hand over her heart as if I'd actually hurt her, "I just want my baby back in my arms." she winked seductively, and I repressed the urge to shudder.

"Then go to Chilli's." I responded sarcastically.

"You know, I am actually a bit chilly," she said, twisting my words around, "How about you warm me up?"

I hadn't a chance to respond before her lips crashed on mine, pushing me into the chalk board (I was going to have a bruise there tomorrow), and wrapping her arms tightly around my neck, trying to keep me there. I tried to fight off her tiny arms, but she was too strong for my liking. Either that or I needed to take a trip to the gym soon or later.

Without warning, she plunged her tongue into my mouth and I stiffened. I really wasn't enjoying this at all.

My eyes were roaming the room until my gaze fell on one wide-eyed student.

_Bella._

"Dammit, Tanya stop!" I mumbled against her lips, pushing her off of me onto the desk.

"Don't tell me you didn't like that." Tanya smirked, satisfied.

I ignored her comment, and my fixated gaze on the door again, but she was already gone.

**BPOV**

I knew it. I knew he wasn't single. How could someone as beautiful as him be single? And more importantly, how can someone as beautiful as him want to be with someone as plain as me? I was stupid to think that I actually had a shot with this man. We had absolutely nothing together, yet why did it hurt _so_ when I saw him kissing someone else?

I felt like such an idiot I just wanted to laugh at myself, but I couldn't find the strength to over the tears. I wasn't sobbing beyond control, no, I had a feeling that would come later, I was only gradually letting the small tears fall from my eyes silently with the occasional sniffle. So many students have feelings for their teachers that go unreturned, why was I so stupid as to believe that _my_ situation would be any different?

But I couldn't understand was why... why had he tried to kiss me before? Was he _that_ kind of man? Did he believe in cheating? He didn't seem like the kind of man who would. But then again, what did I really know about him? This was driving me insane. This was more than just a crush. I just knew it. It wasn't rational for me to think like this. He really _wasn't_ mine to claim. But there were times when I saw the same emotion I was feeling shining in his eyes, I thought that just maybe we were on the same page. This was all so confusing...

I was being irrational and overly sensitive but somehow I knew that wasn't the reason why I was feeling this way. Was it something more? My heart was telling me yes but my brain was telling me no. I was just plain old boring Bella, I was just the ordinary student who had an insane crush on her high school teacher, But for him to feel the same? That only happens in books and movies. And this wasn't fiction, this was reality.

"Bella?" a melodic voice softly called from behind.

I really didn't know what to do. I couldn't let him see me like this. He would know that I was crying, and see me just as a weak, stupid teenager. And I honestly didn't know what to say. There were no words for this. So I just did the only logical thing I could think of at that moment.

I ran.

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**A/N: How did I write Edward's POV? Did you like it? I felt like this chapter called for his perspective, because we all know we wouldn't get the whole story from Bella's head, so just to be clear, Edward is NOT the bad guy... Tanya is just an unbelievably easy slut.**


	6. Conversations

**BPOV**

"_Bella?" a melodic voice softly called from behind._

_I really didn't know what to do. I couldn't let him see me like this. He would know that I was crying, and see me just as a weak, stupid teenager. And I honestly didn't know what to say. There were no words for this. So I just did the only logical thing I could think of at that moment._

_I ran._

I didn't think about it. I just ran. It may have been seen as stupid or childish. But I just... couldn't face him. I needed to get out. The dull pain in my chest was really effecting my decisions.

"Bella, wait!" Edward called from behind me, but I didn't listen.

All I wanted was to get to my truck, and speed away from that place. But, of course, I, being Bella, tripped over a rock, _a rock!_ My coordination was always the worst when I was running, that's for sure. I fell flat to the ground, but this time, there was no angel there to catch me. He was just too far away. And I don't mean psychically.

It didn't hurt. The pain in my chest ruled over all. My whole body was numb. I could faintly hear Edward's screams, though I tried to tune them out.

It didn't work.

"Bella? Bella, are you alright?!" he asked frantically, catching up with me.

"I'm fine." I mumbled angrily, still not letting him see my face. The anger wasn't directed towards him, more at myself. _How could I be so stupid?_

"Are you sure?" he questioned, still concerned as he helped me up off of the cold, cement ground.

I mumbled a 'positive' before grabbing the keys to my truck, but Edward grabbed my wrist and stopped me.

"Bella, please," he pleaded, "just let me explain." I laughed at this.

"Seriously, Edward. You don't need to explain. It was just... awkward, seeing you kiss your girlfriend like that." I lied, without turning around. I didn't want him to see my tear streaked face.

It was his turn to laugh, "Girlfriend? No, Bella, you've got it at all wrong."

"Oh, do I?" I said, finally having the guts to turn around and face him.

His amused face turned into one of concern and confusion, "You've been crying." he stated. It wasn't so much a question as it was an observation.

"No, it's cool." I lied again, despite my pain and frustration, I blushed in embarrassment as he observed how weak I really was. I always hated showing weakness. Even as a child. When I broke my arm after shamelessly trying to climb a tree in third grade, it hurt like hell, but I managed to shrug it off as if it was nothing. Of course I had cried in my room later on that night but I was all alone. This was something I had graciously inherited from Charlie.

"Tanya. Is. Not. My. Girlfriend." he amended, each word separate and distinct.

"Then why -" I began but was cut off.

"Crazy ex. Can't let go." he grumbled, running his fingers through his hair, most likely a nervous habit.

"Oh." I said numbly, feeling even dumber than I had before.

"Really, Bella. She doesn't mean anything at all to me."

"Why are you telling me this, Edward?"

"Because... I just... nothing, Bella. It's hard to explain."

"I've got time." I stated, raising an eyebrow wonderingly.

"Nothing, Bella, it's not important. At least it shouldn't be," he sighed, mumbling the last part mainly to himself, "All I'm saying is that... look, I'm sorry you had to see that." he said in a regretful tone.

"It's no big deal." I mumbled.

"Bella, if I bring up a very serious subject, would you listen?"

_As if this wasn't serious enough._

"Depends on what you have to say."

"I think that... this relationship is hitting the danger zone and pretty quickly, I might add. I think we both need to just... back away for a while. We both need to stay strictly professional with each other. The normal teacher, student relationship."

And those words were all it took for my heart to tear. I knew that this was what it was coming. Why didn't I stop it when I had the chance? I let myself get in too deep. I barely knew this man for two weeks and I felt like I had fallen head over heels for him. That wasn't realistic, but it also didn't seem like this man was _real_. It seemed like he was taken straight out of a 1920's love novel.

"Well, I don't think I'll be able to throw spitballs at your head when you're not looking." I teased through my heart ache, trying to lighten the mood. I never was one for emotional conversations either, and I was desperately trying to avoid this one.

"You _do_ have bad aim." he chuckled, but stopped short. Boring his eyes into mine.

"So... what exactly do you mean by 'normal teacher, student relationship?'" I asked seriously.

"We don't talk outside of class, and we don't interact for any reason, only when you have a question or need any type of help." he stated, and I could detect a hint of sadness in his voice.

This shouldn't be so hard. But the mere thought of not speaking with him felt like it slowly but surely killing me inside.

"All I can say is... thank you for giving me a legitimate reason inside of just ignoring me for none at all like a pansy." I conveyed calmly, even surprising myself. I honestly didn't have the strength to yell, or fight, or even think of a sarcastic come back. All I could do was thank him; the shock hadn't worn off yet. And I suppose it was the truth. I couldn't stand it when people lied, or when they just left you out in the cold for no reason whatsoever. All I ever ask for answers. It didn't lessen the pain, but it also didn't intensify. If he ignored me without reason I would surely be walking around thinking 'Does he hate me?' I would eventually drive myself insane, and I knew it. At least, now, we seemed to be on the same level.

"Um... your welcome, Ms. Swan." he stated.

"Oh," I said dumbly, hurt, "We're not calling each other by our first names any more?"

"I'm sorry Be – Ms. Swan, I think that will make it even more uncomfortable if we didn't."

_I beg to differ._

"Fine... Mr. Cullen." the name burned my tongue. I just wanted to call him _Edward_ again.

Pain flashed across his features for a brief second, "Right, well... we both now this won't be easy. But it's the right thing to do. It has to be." he convinced, though I thought it was more for his benefit than my own.

We were both too chicken to bring it up. We knew that we were, by no means, your 'average student, teacher relationship.' It looked like we were just going to pretend, even though it seemed impossible, we both needed to put up the facade so that one day we may actually believe it. I was scared. He was scared. There was nothing more to it. We were terrified of what was happening.

"Your right... this probably is for the best." I agreed, trying to convince myself that it really was for the best.

"I'm just very – I'm sorry, Ms. Swan," Edward amended, coming up and pulling me tight against his chest. I really had no clue as to why he would do this, but I relished the feeling of closeness between us. I relished his scent, and his sweet breath fanning my forehead. It felt so right, but, all too soon he pulled away.

"Don't be, Mr. Cullen." I forcefully smiled, reluctantly letting go of him. It wasn't his fault. This wasn't the right time. We couldn't pursue anything just yet. Maybe if we just wait and see... after all that has happened these past two weeks, I suppose anything could happen.

I climbed into my Chevy and put the key into the ignition, driving off before he could respond.

**EPOV**

I didn't want to do it. It felt like it would kill me to do it. But I knew it wasn't right. This was getting out of hand. It didn't seem like much in the beginning, but we had obviously crossed the line between teacher and student. It was much more than that now, and I knew I couldn't deny it, even she couldn't deny it. But, I needed to draw the line somewhere.

I knew I wouldn't be able to ignore her without simple reason anymore, it hurt to watch her when I did. She was so innocent, and hadn't even started her life yet. She needs a relationship with a boy her age. That was healthy. And I was pretty sure I could go to jail in all fifty states if we pursued this any further than we already had.

I didn't want to say the things I did. She was hurt, that much I could see, almost as hurt as I was. But it wasn't healthy for her to be in a relationship like this, and I knew I was leading her on. Yet I felt so much younger when I was around her. Like all my problems melted away. Bella was simple, calm, laid back. And she had me feeling like a sixteen year old boy trying to ask the prettiest girl in school to prom all over again.

But, this wasn't about me. It didn't matter how 'young' she made me feel, no, that was being selfish, using her to make myself feel young and happy again. I had to think of her and her feelings. No one could even imagine how disgusting I felt. She was only seventeen for Christ's sake! But being with her... sometimes it was _so_ easy, _too_ easy, to forget how old she was psychically. Mentally, though... I sometimes wondered if she was one of the Golden Girls with an amazing face lift.

**BPOV**

I drove straight home, fighting the tears that were threatening to spill over. Every once and a while one would betray me and slide down my cheek. I silently entered the house, trying to act calm, and not arouse any suspicion from Charlie. Lucky for me, he was watching the game... er... _was_ watching it. He had a half-empty pizza box on the coffee table and the remote on his stomach while he was snoring away, mouth wide open. _Ah, Charlie... can't live with him, can't move out. _I cracked a smile at my father's sleeping form, I really did love him.

I ran up to my room, shutting the door behind me, and sliding down it, plopping onto the floor, not even bothering to notice the well made bed in front of me. And I just... sat there. For hours. Letting the tears flow freely, sobbing silently, my head buried in the knees that were now being hugged tightly to my chest.

During that time all I could come to was one conclusion.

I think I love Edward Cullen.

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**A/N_:_** **I decided to throw a little EPOV in here because we really needed his side of the story too. So, do you get where he's coming from? Somewhere along the lines of, 'I really, really like this girl but if we go further I could be registered as a pedophile' kinda thing? That's Edward, our little practical thinker.**


	7. Substitute

**BPOV**

I woke up to rain pattering softly on the rooftop and a horrible ache in my chest. I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, bury my head under the pillow, and endure the pain silently. I didn't want to face the world today. Or even tomorrow. But that was just prolonging the inevitable. I was going to have to deal with it soon or later. I chose sooner. The longer I waited, the more painful it was going to be in the long run.

I did my normal morning activities with the occasional heavy sigh in hopes of ridding the emptiness in my heart. It didn't work.

I drove to school in my monster of a truck, the stereo on all the while, playing all of my favorite songs in some vain effort to forget the problems awaiting me. It didn't work.

It especially didn't work when I arrived at Forks High, now my own personal enemy. I wasn't exactly sure how I was supposed to handle avoiding Edward. One glance at him and I would probably go into a full blown break down.

I was just getting out of the truck, the thing was so old I had to be cautious with not breaking the door of its hinges. Charlie would kill me... if this truck didn't kill me first.

I saw my friend, Angela, walking towards me with a big frown on her face.

I met Angela in English the same week that Edward started _ignoring_ me, I was confused at first because I hadn't seen her around before... or maybe I had, and just wasn't paying any attention. She explained to me that her grandmother in Georgia was sick, so she went and stayed with her, causing her to miss the first two weeks of the school year. But since that first class, we had been nearly inseparable.

My eyebrows pulled together, "What is it, Ang?" I questioned, concern laced with fear in my voice.

"You won't believe this," she gossiped, slightly out of breath from the walking, "History has a substitute."

"What happened to Ed... Mr. Cullen?" I panicked. Did he leave because of me?

"Everyone keeps saying he's out sick."

Well, that was ironic. I spent all night and all day worrying about seeing him and he wasn't even going to be there. I was both relieved and upset. I knew it was going to hurt to see him again, but I still felt a strong sense of happiness whenever I was around him. His presence seemed to bring me joy and pain. It was bittersweet.

"Who gets sick in September?" Honestly, please pick a better excuse.

"Maybe he has the swine flu." she teased jokingly, her eyes widening in mock realization.

"Right, Ang. Well, we'll just save that for someone like Lauren." I laughed, "So, who's the substitute?"

"I think his name is Mr. Black, he's like 20 or something. Real young. He graduated college early I'm guessing." she shrugged her shoulders.

"How do you know?"

"News travels fast." she smiled.

********

The rest of the day was uneventful. I was a little bit anxious and a little bit terrified to get to history. Anxious because I wanted to see what our substitute looked like. I still couldn't get over his age: _20_. So close to my own age. How do you let someone who is young enough to be your older brother teach you? And terrified because I was afraid that being in that class would bring back the little memories that made my heart ache, and I didn't want _anyone_ replacing Edward. In or outside the classroom.

I was putting away unneeded books into my locker when someone tapped my shoulder. I whipped around, startled.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," Angela giggled, "I was just wondering, though. Tomorrow is Saturday, right?" I nodded, "Me, Lauren, and Jessica were all planning on going to Port Angeles to shop and stuff. Just a girl's day out. It would mean _so_ much to me if you came. Please." she pouted.

"I don't think Jess and Lauren would want me there." I convinced.

"If you make me go alone with them I will hurt you." she threatened, and I giggled. Absolutely nothing about Angela screamed 'intimidating.'

I really did need to get out and forget this unhealthy obsession with my teacher, it would really be healthy just to have some female bonding time, but I also wasn't in the mood to deal with Jessica and Lauren, AKA bitch and bitchier.

"Please. Please. Please." Angela begged, she sounded like a child pleading with their mother to have just _one_ candy bar.

"Fine." I sighed, rolling my eyes. What did I have to lose? I knew I'd have a great time with Angela, if Jess and Lauren were going into their 'bitch mode' I could be just as crabby.

"Yay!" she screamed, hugging me tightly, "Thank you." she grinned.

I was about to open my mouth to speak when the bell rang, signaling that it was time for the dreaded class.

I picked my backpack, slung it over my shoulder, and closed my locker, "Later, Ang." I called before heading off to 'the class of doom.'

When I got there, there was a class filled with students, but no teacher. It was strange to see the room full, students were never on time; they probably only came to throw spitballs at that poor, unsuspecting, teacher's head. Apparently, fresh meat was always enjoyed at this school. I sat down at my normal seat next to Mike Newton.

"Hey, Bella." Mike said happily.

"Hi, Mike." I stated through gritted teeth.

"Have you changed your mind about the dance?" he smiled. Wow, he took subtle to a whole new level.

"Actually, no. And I don't plan to. Dancing just isn't my thing."

"You know, I'll be there to catch you if you fall." he winked, his grin widening.

"Why don't you ask Jessica?" I said as politely as my annoyance would allow, "I hear she's being dying to go to the dance with you." And it was the truth. Jessica always babbled on at lunch about how much she liked Mike, I guess I could see the attraction. They were both annoying. It was as simple as that.

"Really?" he gasped, his eyes widening.

"Sure. You should definitely go for it." I encouraged.

He didn't have the chance to respond before a man walked in who I assumed to be our substitute. What I saw glorious. His skin was a russet color and his short, cropped hair was pitch black, he seemed to be of Native American descent. He was tall, around 6' 5" or so, more like _huge_. He wore a white short sleeved dress shirt and a black pair of dress pants, exposing me to his large arms and long legs. He wasn't too buff, for example, like Emmett Cullen, but you could tell he worked out very often. He was no Edward, no one could measure up to him. But this Mr. Black wasn't so bad himself.

"Sorry I'm late," he sighed apologetically, "Damn traffic." he mumbled under his breath, careful not to let anyone else hear, but I did.

"I'm Jacob Black," he introduced, "And I'll be your substitute for the next three weeks. Any questions?" he smiled.

Three weeks? What the hell was wrong with Edward?

I couldn't help it, I had to ask, "Mr. Black?"

"Yes..." he trailed off.

"Bella."

"Bella," he repeated, smiling, "is there something you'd like to ask?"

"Is there a reason as to why Mr. Cullen is going to be out for the next 21 days?" I challenged, raising an eyebrow at him.

He chuckled, "Mr. Cullen is taking vacation during this time, on a cruise, I think. He'll be back in October." Oh great, so he's on a cruise while I'm here suffering? Just great... I wish Angela's reason had been right in the first place. _Swine flu._

Just then Lauren raised her hand, "Mr. Black?"

"Yes?"

"How old are you?" she questioned innocently.

I rolled my eyes, of course that would be the first question she'd ask.

"Twenty." he chuckled.

I saw her nod her head in approval, and Mr. Black give her a disgusted expression, one she didn't notice. It was all I could do to hold back my laughter. Geez, no one seemed to find Lauren as attractive she thought she was. Well, except maybe for Eric... all the Forks male population... maybe even half of Washington, but that's not the point. The point was it seemed like teachers always tried to find an escape when she was around. I didn't blame them, I would too.

Class started then after a few more questions like Jessica Stanley's, 'Are you single?' and Lauren Mallory's 'Do you date younger chicks?'. I swear, if being a slut was a sport these girls would take the gold and then some. But I learned that Mr. Black was actually pretty hilarious. He took the questions to heart, and answered them truthfully, but his answers also held sarcasm. Like, do you date younger chicks? His answer was, "Yes, but blond isn't my type. Sorry about that." That shut Lauren up for a while, but she started talking again all too soon for my liking. Maybe duct tape would do the trick...

I would find myself smiling and giggling every once and a while, but then feeling guilty for it seconds later. I couldn't explain it, it was like every moment of happiness I had only added to the sadness of the day. I actually felt guilty for being happy. I just really missed Edward. _I wonder what he's doing right now._

After class ended I had my heart set on just getting home, but Mr. Black stopped me.

"Bella, do you mind staying for a little bit longer?"

"Um, sure Mr. Black. What for?"

"Please, call me Jacob, you used to any way." he said, a smile creeping its way onto his lips.

My eyebrows knitted together in confusion, "Excuse me?"

"Bella, it's Jake. Don't you remember me? Billy Black's son?"

"I'm sorry... no." I admitted.

He laughed, "My dad and your dad were best friends, still are. We used to play together when they went fishing, when you came to Forks every summer for a visit. Remember now?"

"Oh," realization dawned on me, "that would probably explain why I didn't remember it. I do a pretty good job of blocking painful, unnecessary things out of my memory." I chuckled.

His face fell and I realized how he must have mistaken my words, "No! Not like that, it wasn't you. It was the fishing. It always bored me to death."

"Right," he said, not completely convinced, "So, what brings you to Forks High?"

"I'm living here now," I shrugged, "Where have you been all this time?"

"I've been going to college at Washington State in Pullman so I've been pretty busy. I just graduated and I'm moving back here. I'm a substitute right now but I'm hoping to become a permanent teacher."

My head shot up, "You're not... planning on teaching history, are you?" I had to ask. What would happen to Edward?

"Well, it's not my number one priority, but it is pretty nice. Why?" I mentally breathed a sigh of relief.

"No reason," I lied, "Hey, Jacob. I have to go, okay? Charlie will be getting home soon and I need to cook dinner."

"Right, okay. Hey, Bells, you know, it's been forever since we've really hung out with each other. Do you wanna go out and do something on Saturday?"

"Like... like a date?" I questioned, narrowing my eyes at him.

"No, no, not if you don't want it to be. Just two old friends reconnecting." he covered, but I could tell there was more to it than just that.

"You know, I'd really like to Jake but I already made plans with a few of my friends tomorrow."

"Oh... yeah, that's cool. But if you just wanna hang out, you know where to find me. At Billy's." he winked playfully, and I smiled.

I thought it was sweet that he would flirt with me, but I didn't think I would ever look at him as anything more than a friend. I couldn't just forget Edward. And I especially wouldn't drop him for the substitute. That was like a poorly written Lifetime movie just waiting to happen.

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**A/N:** **Don't kill me! Put. The. Gun. Down. That's better. Personally, I think writing this story is bittersweet for me. There are some parts that I don't necessarily want to happen but it's essential to the story. If there was no Jacob, how would there be any drama? And you guys need drama like a vampire needs animal blood, don't deny it! **

**Love? Like? Hate? Please let me know.**


	8. Cruise

**EPOV**

I looked out at the beautiful ocean view trying to clear my head, the wind was casually blowing itself through my untamed locks and I barely even noticed. I breathed in deep and inhaled the scent of the fresh air, so pure, and so clean. I closed my eyes and let my mind drift towards the unsorted thoughts wracking my brain.

This was crazy. Insane even. I wasn't supposed to be here. I should have been teaching a class full of crazy teenagers instead of sitting here now spending unwanted time with a bunch of crazy kooks. Okay, my bad, my family was wonderful. Alice was the crazy one.

I don't understand, why, out of all of the months of year, my family chooses the beginning of the school year to go on vacation. They know I'm always busy at this point in the year, why now?

I loved my family, really I did. But there wasn't a doubt in my mind that I wouldn't be here if Alice hadn't threatened to show everyone, including the staff, at Forks High naked pictures from when I was a baby. I didn't push it. That pixie didn't mess around. Well, another reason I agreed was because Emmett had threatened to stuff me in a meat locker but still.

At any other time I would've been more than delighted to spend this month with my family, but I definitely wouldn't categorize this as a good time to leave Forks. What if Bella thought I had left her? _Bella_. A person I was unable to get off of my mind for the past 24 hours.

She hadn't left my mind since the moment she got into that truck and drove away... perhaps from my life forever. I couldn't help but feel a pang in my chest at the thought of her leaving forever. I only wanted her to have a simpler life.

No one can tell me that if I were to pursue a relationship with this young woman that no one would call her easy, or slutty, or I shudder to think even worse, whatever these teenagers say these days. She didn't deserve that. I didn't think I could do that to her, make her go through the teasing and the lectures, and for what? For me?

I knew I wasn't worth any of that. Why did this have to be so difficult? Why can't she just date boys her own age? And why on earth, did the idea make me angry? I didn't know what the feeling was, or what to call it, but it made me angry beyond belief. I didn't understand it.

"Hey, big brother!" my little sister Alice chirped, startling me out of my thoughts. She bounced over to seat herself on the chair next to me.

"What is it, Alice?" I answered, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice. I loved her to death, but I still wasn't completely over her threatening me with thirty year old photos.

"Dinner in fifteen." she replied in that usual hyper voice of hers, her face held a huge grin that I'm sure hurt her face, but she wasn't one to notice. I sometimes wondered if she was adopted. We looked nothing alike and our personalities were polar opposites.

She must have sensed my distress because her smiling face fell and turn into one of concern, "What's wrong?" she pouted. I suppose I could give my sister some credit, no one, not even her, knew anything about Bella. They had met her once before, but they were oblivious to the situation we were in. But I think Alice suspected something. Ever since she was a little girl she would babble on about how psychic she was, and sometimes it's freaky weird how close she is to that.

"Nothing, Al. I'm fine." I lied, plastering on a fake smile.

"No, you're not. I know these things, remember?" she uttered, tapping her temple with her index finger. And I smiled, a real one this time. Even on my bad days, and trust me I've had many of those, my sister always found a way to make me break out in a grin. I could never stay mad at her. _Damn her and her pixie-like charm_. She must get that from our mother, Esme.

"It's Bella, isn't it?" she added, and my eyes widened. It was amazing how on target she was, "I knew it!" she exclaimed, getting up and bouncing up and down.

"Alice, please, at least try acting your age. You'll draw attention to us." I proclaimed.

"Edward, are you serious? This is _our_ yacht, we're the only ones on here!" she laughed, "and by the way, I'm only 25. You know, there's plenty of time to sit back and be a prude when your older. For example, your age." she smirked.

"Well, then, you better live it up Al cause you've only got five years left." I mirrored her smirk, and her face fell. I got up and headed towards my own cabin, in hopes of resting my eyes a bit before dinner.

"Stupid shiny Volvo owner!" I heard her scream, but I was too far gone to answer.

**APOV**

I knew Edward was acting a little bit off all of a sudden. It just had to be because of that Bella girl, she had really affected him. I'd never seen him so happy _or_ so sad before, and that's saying a lot.

I just hated seeing him like this. He just seemed so... dull. Well, if we're being honest here, he _was_ usually a prude, but this was taking to a whole other level. One thing was for sure though, I was going to get to the bottom of this.

*****************************

**A/N: Reviews are very much appreciated.**


	9. Port Angeles

**BPOV**

_It was raining, not much of a shock, really. But something was different about the image, it was eerier, somehow, frightening at the most. The clouds were a dark gray, almost black, but I knew it couldn't be nightfall. No, not yet. I was in the woods, this much I knew since I could faintly see the trail that led back to Charlie's house. I'd been coming here so frequently lately to get away that it should have been comforting, but it wasn't. Not in the least. Something was off. And I wasn't sure what it was._

"_Hello?" I called out only to have my own echo respond back to me._

_I heard ruffling behind the bushes, and a low growl rang from it._

"_H-hello?" I called out again, the fear more evident in my voice this time._

_Faster than I ever thought possible, an unbelievably large animal emerged from the bushes. It looked... like a horse? No, no. It was... a wolf. It looked as if it could take an army of men without much effort at all. It's fur was reddish brown, like russet. _

_I stumbled back a few feet, intimidated by it's gigantic size. But I felt a small sense of relieve wash through me as I did so. I felt... I felt almost safe with this animal. It was something I couldn't explain, couldn't put into words._

"_Hi." I stated dumbly, extending my hand to pet his nose softly. Much to my surprise, it looked as if the wolf was... smiling. It actually had a big, stupid grin on it's face, which made me smile too._

_I hadn't taken my eyes off of the glorious wolf until I saw something in the corner of my eye that made me jump. A tall, dark figure emerged from the shadows. A grin also plastered in his face, showing his long, sharp teeth, a simple knife didn't hold a candle to what those things could do. _

_He was white, harshly pale, even more so than myself. He had shining, bronze hair, so much like Edward's, but... his eyes were a different color. They were red, blood red. And I just knew, he wasn't good news._

"_W-who are you?" I whispered, leaning into the wolf for support. He growled at the figure approaching us, and the figure positioned himself in a crouching position, defensive._

_Before I could even blink the pale figure sprung forward, attacking the wolf to the cold, ground floor, sinking it's sharp teeth deep into the animal's flesh._

"_NO!!" I shrieked, knowing it was a bad idea I tried to pry the figure off of the wolf, though the effort would just be wasted in the end. _

_The wolf yelped out in pain and agony, and I wanted nothing more than to console it. Hold it close to me, and never let go, whisper kind and gentle words to make the pain all go away. The wolf fought, and hard, until it's last dying breath. The inhuman figure had completely drained him of his blood, only causing more fresh, hot tears to trickle down my face._

_I hated... whoever, whatever, it was that killed this innocent, harmless beast. _

_Realization dawned on me as I could only whisper out one word, "Jacob?" I whimpered before the figure lunged towards me, more than ready to make me his next victim._

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

My eyes snapped open at the sound, and my breathing was heavy. I felt a wetness on my face, and I instantly knew the reason: I had been crying. That dream, or rather nightmare, seemed so real. I didn't understand it. Was it was a warning of some sort?

There was a frantic knock at the door before my father poked his head in.

"Bells?" he asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, dad, I'm fine. Why?" I inquired curiously.

"Well, you were screaming 'NO! NO!' over and over again. What's the deal, kid?" and with that, my face flushed tomato red. _Why did I have to be cursed with the ability to sleep talk? Why?_

"Oh, nothing, dad. Just a bad dream. Nothing out of the ordinary." I waved him off.

"You sure?" he pushed, raising his eyebrows in question.

"Positive. I'm fine." I smiled, but by the look on his face I didn't fool him.

"Right, well, you'd better be getting ready for your day today." he stated casually.

"How'd you know about that?" I panicked. Was he mad at me for not telling him?

"Angela called while you were asleep, sweet girl. She told me about your plans, oh and thanks for telling me by the way." he said sarcastically with a grin alerting me that he was only joking, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh, yeah, anytime." I said in a equally sarcastic tone, and he chuckled, shutting the door behind him.

I jumped out of bed, surprisingly not tripping over my own two feet, and went straight for the shower. I needed to calm myself down, the dream had really shaken me.

The dream was puzzling me to no end. Jacob – why on earth was Jacob there? And Edward – trying to kill me? I didn't quite understand it. I tried convincing myself that people had random dreams all the time, and they did. But mine held so much... depth to it, it made so much sense and yet no sense at all whatsoever.

The shower soothed my body tremendously, and I felt as ease once again. After blowing my hair, dragging out the action, and brushing my teeth, ridding my mouth of the disgusting fuzz, I went through my closet to find something at least half way decent to wear.

I threw on a pair of my True Religion stretch jeans courtesy of my mother Renee for my 17th birthday, and a brown beaded halter top along with a pair of Converse sneakers. I eventually made my way down the stairs, successful in not landing on my face. Today must be my lucky day.

"Hey, Bells, you know what Tuesday is, right?" Charlie grinned at the dinner table as I entered the kitchen, the daily newspaper in his hand as I grabbed a pop tart to tame my hunger.

"Don't remind me." I groaned.

"You really need to loosen up, kid. I thought women didn't make a big deal about getting old until their 29th birthday. Just enjoy it will it lasts, I guess." he sighed, settling his newspaper flat on the table, focusing his full attention on me.

"I'm turning eighteen, that's just one year closer to wrinkles and gray hairs." I complained, sitting down next to him.

"Well, if you keep worrying about getting old then the gray hairs will start comin' a lot sooner than they're supposed to, ya know." he convinced, grabbing a piece of toast off of his plate. I knew he was right, I just had this insane, irrational fear of getting older, the celebrations didn't help much either. I have never enjoyed the spotlight, and I hated being the center of attention. Then I would feel like I had to perform like a circus monkey, put on a show, things like that. I didn't like it.

"Whatever, you're probably right. But, promise me, no parties. Got it?"

"Sure, kid, whatever you want. It's your birthday." he mumbled, obviously not effected my by outburst, as I heard a beeping from outside.

"Thanks, dad. You really get me." I smiled, awkwardly hugging him, and quickly kissing his cheek before heading out the door.

Outside I spotted Jessica's Black SUV in the drive way. I saw Angela smile at me as Lauren gave me daggers. I smiled back, ignoring her silent pleas for a knock out. She was just asking for it. I may be silent, but that didn't mean I was a push over, nor was I defenseless. If the situation called for it, then sure, I could probably kick someone's ass if I wanted to.

"Hey, Bella." Angela grinned as I climbed into the back seat with her, and I could her breath a sigh of relief. She mouthed a 'thank you' to me before Jessica drove off.

The drive to Port Angeles was mostly silent, on my part any way. Angela, Jessica, and Lauren though were very chatty. Their conversations ranged from favorite music, favorite movie, celebrity crushes and real life crushes. They were pretty mindless subjects if you asked me.

They kept talking about this British actor called Robert Pattinson, whom all of them had a major crush on. I had no idea who they were talking about, but I heard he looked like, "a taller, sexier, British version of Mr. Cullen" as Jessica so eloquently put it, and my chest burned at the reminder of him. I also found out that Mike had, indeed, asked Jessica to the dance. So I was finally off the hook... for now any way.

"We're here!" I heard Jessica exclaim, parking the car in a crowded spot. I heard a lot about Port Angeles, but I've never actually been before.

"So, what's on the agenda?" Lauren asked.

"Eat first, then shopping. Then walking, more shopping and drooling over the hot guys on the magazine covers." Jessica giggled.

I rolled my eyes, "Wow, you're so organized." I mumbled.

"What was that?" Jessica glared.

"Oh, nothing." I fake smiled, mirroring her glare.

I wasn't sure if she really believed me, but she shot me a deathly glare before turning back to Lauren any way, ignoring me as usual.

"Hey," I bumped Angela on the shoulder, "While they are out _shopping_," I said the word in distaste, causing her to giggle, "why don't we hit up the book store? I heard it's pretty small but they've got a lot of great classics there."

"Sure, sounds great." she smiled.

"So, where are we eating at? I'm starved."

"La Bella Italia," Angela smiled, looking at me, "talk about coincidence." she laughed.

We walked down the street towards the restaurant, Lauren eying everything with a penis that passed by us.

"This place is nice." I complimented as we entered La Bella Italia, nodding in approval as the hostess led us to our table.

"What can I get you today?" the hostess smiled warmly at us, her name tag read _Amber_.

"Bella?" Angela said, encouraging me to go first.

I looked briefly at the menu before coming to a decision, "I'll have the Mushroom Ravioli." the waitress nodded.

"You're so predictable." Angela giggled.

"What?" I asked, my eyebrows knitting together from the confusion I felt.

"Nothing." she shrugged, desperate for me to change the subject.

But I wasn't giving up that easily.

"No, tell me." I encouraged.

"Oh, it's just–" she started but was cut off by Jessica ordering her meal... loudly.

Jessica ordered the Pesto Tortellini, Angela ordered the Manicotti, and Lauren ordered the Lasagna. As we ate Jessica and Lauren rambled on and on about shopping, and how "fun" it would be. That, I highly doubted.

"Aren't you guys excited?" Jessica piped, finishing the last of her Tortellini, "Port Angeles has some really great stores."

"Actually, Bella and I were planning on meeting at the bookstore later. Is that alright?" Angela asked cautiously. I knew her enough to know that it didn't really matter much to her what they thought, she was just asking to not be rude.

"This was supposed to be a girl's day out." Jess whined.

"But there's no rule that says we can't split up. I go with Bella, and you go with Lauren. So, it's still technically a girl's day out." Angela reasoned. I liked her logic.

"Fine." Jessica sighed heavily, though I could tell she really didn't mind. She was only acting like she cared to make us feel guilty.

"Really, Jess, it'll be–" Angela stopped mid-sentence, looking over at the table across from us.

"What is it, Ang?" I questioned, trying shake her out of her trance.

"Is that..." she trailed off.

"Mr. Black?" Lauren finished, and my throat went dry.

"What's he doing here?" I whispered, trying to use my hair as a curtain in hopes that he wouldn't recognize me.

"Teachers have life outside of school, you know. They don't just sit in school all day grading papers." Jessica defended, taking a small sip of her coke. And I never thought I'd say this, but for once... Jessica Stanley was... *gulp* ... right. _Whoa, where'd that come from?_

"Could've fooled me." Lauren mumbled, playing with a lock of her hair.

"Oh, he's coming this way." Angela warned, trying to clean the table a bit before he noticed the mess, but it was a wasted effort.

"Crap." I muttered under my breath. Mr. Black was only a reminder of the dream that would forever be burned into my brain. I didn't need this right now.

"Hello, ladies." a familiar husky voice greeted.

"Hi." everyone at the table, with the exception of myself, said in unison.

"Well, look who it is." the voice chuckled, brushing the hair from my face. _Damn, he just broke down my only defense. Well, I could throw my plate at his head and run screaming down the street, "Not my teacher! Not my teacher!"_ _No, I'll just have to endure it, I guess._

"Hi, Mr. Black." I laughed nervously, my face flushed, and I was really hoping he didn't notice.

"Bella," he warned. And for some reason, when he said my name, a funny feeling enveloped my stomach. It felt... good. But I didn't like it. It was scary how he was making me feel now.

"Jacob, right. Sorry, that's gonna take some getting used to."

"Jacob, it's so nice to see you." Lauren said seductively, batting her eyelashes. I thought that the sight was going to make my lunch visit all over again. _I thought I was the only who got to call him Jacob_, I whined in my head. It was childish but what she said caused another feeling, but not in my stomach. In my heart. I didn't know what to call it.

He cleared his throat, "Lauren." he acknowledged, nodding his head in her direction before focusing his attention back on me, causing Lauren to huff angrily. I cracked a small smile.

"So, what brings you ladies here today?" Jacob smiled.

"Girl's day out," Angela beamed, "What about you?"

"Jacob's day out," he laughed, "I don't spend all day in the classroom grading papers, you know."

"I knew it." muttered Jessica.

"Well," he looked at his watch, "unfortunately, I have to be going. It was nice seeing you... all." he hesitated on the last word. I had a feeling he had meant to say 'it was nice seeing you _Bella_' because he only looked at me when he said it. He gave a quick wink before he exited out of the restaurant.

"So, who wants dessert?" Angela asked, opening the dessert menu.

"I think Bella just had hers." Jessica giggled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I challenged, narrowing my eyes at her.

"Oh, come on, like you didn't notice. He was so flirting with you. How you could not tell?" she questioned seriously, as Lauren stared at me with a hateful look on her face. Great, just another reason for Lauren to hate me.

"Oh, it's okay. Bella slept with the history teacher, why not go for the substitute too?" Lauren stated sarcastically, hitting the table with frustration. The abrupt action caused her half-eaten plate of Lasagna to fall off of the table and directly into her lap.

"Fuck!" she shrieked aloud, causing half of the customers to snap their heads in our direction, "This is new!" she cried, gesturing towards her light cream colored skinny jeans.

"Well, news flash Lauren," I said casually, "It isn't now." I smirked.

She ran off to the bathroom to clean herself up, her mascara running from her tears, and Jessica followed. _Typical_.

"Oh... my... god," Angela choked out between giggles, "that was so good!"

"Wow... you know what, I actually feel bad for her now." I stated glumly.

"Really?" her eyebrows raising in disbelief.

"No." I smiled.

********

**A/N: For ****those of you who haven't notice (or have, either way), I've changed the title of the story from 'Teaching Mr. Cullen' to 'The History of Love.' Penny for your thoughts?**

**Reviews are much appreciated.**


	10. Fights, Celebrations & Attempts

**BPOV**

"Happy birthdays, Bella!" Charlie exclaimed, waking me from my slumber.

I sat up in a groggy state catching a glimpse of my father... with a blue cupcake... that read '18' on it. I cracked a smile, because really, it couldn't get any cuter than that. I also really loved blue.

"Thanks, dad. This is sweet of you." I smiled sleepily, taking the cupcake out of his hands. _This is really good... must be store bought._

"Yeah, well, it _is _your birthday," he explained awkwardly, "might as well get some joy out of it." he shrugged.

"Didn't we talk about this?" I challenged, raising an eyebrow at him in question.

"Yeah, I know. No parties. Got it." he repeated my words from Saturday, sitting on the edge of my bad, sighing. I know it unnerved people that I wasn't fond of birthday parties like a normal teenager, but it's _my_ birthday. I should be given the option of whether or not I want to celebrate it.

"Dad, what's wrong?" I inquired, concerned, placing the half-eaten cupcake on my nightstand. I moved closer and sat Indian style next to him.

"Nothing, it's just that today... you're officially not my little girl anymore. You're a woman." he sighed, and I knew he was trying to hold back tears.

"Well, if you want, I could get some reconstructive surgery then you wouldn't have to worry about me becoming a woman." I teased, poking him on the shoulder.

"Would you?" he joked, looking at me with a small smile.

"Sorry, daddy, being a woman is just too good. Well, except for the periods, and the births, oh and it's like a crime for us to be on top during–"

"Okay, okay, I get it, Bells." he warned, and I nodded, "Wait... how did you know about women being on top during..." he trailed off, before shuddering, "you know what? I really don't even wanna know." he sighed, walking towards the door.

"Love you, Bells." he smiled, his eyes crinkling around the edges from the action.

"Love you too, dad." I whispered before he closed the door, separating us for the time being.

I tiredly began my morning routine. Cleaning, changing, showering, ect. I stayed up half of the night after experiencing the exact same dream I had had the night before. To say I was frightened was an understatement. It was much more than that. It all seemed so real, and I was afraid of what it was trying to tell me.

I had only been able to fall back to sleep after going downstairs and making myself a soothing hot cup of tea, but even then my father managed to wake me not even an hour after my head hit the pillow. Oh, well. I would have had to wake up any way, school would be starting soon.

I was very nervous, too nervous. And too excited to be going back. I knew the reason wasn't for Edward, he wasn't even there. That's what scared me to no end. I was excited for a very different reason this time, there was no denying it.

I knew my feelings for Edward hadn't changed, if anything, they had only grown stronger. Every time someone brought him up though I would cringe in pain, it even hurt to think of him, yet I knew there was no avoiding that. I was thinking of him right now. Smart move, I know. The problem was, I felt like my feelings were growing for... Jacob... expanding. In the exact same way that my feelings were expanding for Edward, and that wasn't good. At all.

When I got downstairs I heard Charlie on the phone, I was planning to tease him and say something like, 'Sooo... how's the girlfriend doing?' until I heard his goodbye, which made me suspicious, "Yeah, okay, Renee, I'll tell her. Five. Bye, have a nice fli... day." he had obviously edited the last word because by that time he had seen me walking into the kitchen.

"So, what did Renee want?" I asked when Charlie hung up the phone, biting into an apple. A real one. Yes, a real one. Long story. It involves a bad school play and wax fruit. Don't ask.

"Oh, she called to wish you a happy birthday."

"Then why didn't you let me talk to her?"

"Because, kid... I know how you hate the attention so I figured I'd just tell you myself. So... um... Renee says happy birthday." he grinned slyly.

"Nice safe." I mumbled. I could just picture him wiping the sweat from his brow. He was off the hook... for now.

Looking at the clock I realized I only had ten minutes to get to school, "Kay, I really have to go." I said, grabbing my things, apple still in hand, "Love you." I called when I was out the door, knowing he heard me.

I got into the red monster I call my truck, and turned it on. Much to my relief and disappointment, it roared to life. Relief because I wouldn't be walking in the rain today, and disappointment because, well... why does it always have to _roar_?

On the drive to school I snacked on my apple and played Clair De Lune endlessly on my stereo, hoping to calm my nerves. It definitely helped me for the time being, but the calmness fizzled out the moment I stepped into the school hallways.

I was putting personal possessions away in my locker when Lauren Mallory came up and slammed it shut.

"Hey, what the hell?!" I screamed, before she pushed me into the lockers. I hissed out in pain.

"I. Fucking. Warned. You." she sneered.

"Warned me about what!" I asked incredulously. What the hell was she talking about?

"I told you to stay away from Edward fucking Cullen, and what did you do? You fucking asked him out, you slut!" she stated, poking me after every word. Oh... that...

"I didn't ask him anything, Lauren! He asked me!" I defended, "And it's kinda late to be whining about this, don't ya think? It's been three fucking weeks!" Why does she even wait until now to bring it up?

"Tyler fucking told me last night! What's with that, huh?" she spat out before connecting her fist to my face.

I screamed in searing pain, but I didn't have enough to think my actions through enough before tackling her to the floor. She wanted to play dirty? Then we'll play dirty.

"What the fuck do you want from me, huh?" I screamed as I pulled her hair, then smacked that damned smirk off of her face.

"I want you stay from what is mine!" she yelped, punching my stomach. I felt like I couldn't breath, or that I was going to throw up, one. I needed Edward right now. I needed him to help me. To calm me. Instead I was alone fighting a bitch who cared about no one but herself.

I could faintly hear the other students chanting 'fight! fight!' before Lauren and I were broken apart. But we weren't giving up that easily.

"He never was yours!" I screamed, trying to loosen myself from the iron grip this person had me in.

"He was until you showed up with your fucking snooty ass! I don't know what the fuck he sees in you! How can he prefer you over me?" she stated confidently. To tell you the truth, and this wasn't out of jealousy, Lauren wasn't the most attractive person you could ever meet. She had the brains of a chicken, the soul of the devil, and the looks of Joan Rivers... before the plastic surgery.

"Cause he doesn't like sluts, you bitch!" I called out, just dying to get my fingers around her skinny little throat.

"Alright; that's enough!" a familiar voice silenced.

"Jake." I breathed, turning around.

"Bells, are you okay?" he asked frantically.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. No worries."

"You have a black eye and a busted lip. Do you call that fine?"

My eyes widened and I opened my locker to the look into the built-in mirror, "Shit," I muttered, tracing the black eye and wincing when I hit a sore spot.

"Okay, everyone. There is nothing to see here. Classes are gonna be starting soon. You'll be late. Come on, let's go." Jake demanded, and everyone obeyed. This left us in the hallway all alone. I'm guessing whoever it was that had to pry Lauren off had taken her to the Principle's Office. Which reminded me...

"Principle here I come." I sighed, walking straight towards office but he stopped me.

"No need. I witnessed the whole thing. I'm just gonna explain that it was Lauren who started the whole thing."

"But I–"

"Shh," he whispered, leaning in closer, "It's all taken care of. Besides, what kind of friend would I be if I let you get suspended on your birthday, huh? Not a good one. I'll tell Ms. Cope to go grab you some ice." he smiled, his hot breath against my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

He must've noticed this because he chuckled, "Happy birthday, Bells." he winked before leaving me to my thoughts.

_Fuck, I never stood a chance._

********

Class was, in a word, okay. The good part was that Mike didn't bother to pester me anymore, Jessica was the new object of his affection, and for that, I was grateful. Lauren was, thankfully, not in the same class as me so I wouldn't have to deal with her wrath for the time being.

I kept finding myself stealing glances at Jacob, a lot of glances. I felt my face flush each time he'd catch me staring, but he would only smile and continue on with the lesson.

What surprised me was that Jacob had let the class out early, fifteen minutes early to be exact. He said he had to be somewhere, and that it was 'very important.' I didn't necessarily mind the cut in time but I was curious as to why he did so.

School was ending just as I received a call from Charlie, "Hello?"

"Bells!" he said cheerily, "I'm glad I got you before you went home; we need some things from the grocery store. Do you mind picking some stuff up?"

"But I just went shopping." I concluded suspiciously, something was up. I personally didn't want to take another trip to the store. It was an errand I had come to enjoy, but I didn't want to be walking around like _this_. I had bruises on my face like there was no tomorrow.

"You know your old man; eats like a pig." he chuckled nervously.

"Right," I decided to go along with it, "Well... what do we need?" I stated reluctantly.

He prattled off every item on the grocery list before we hung up with each other. I could definitely hear suspicious activity going on the background. I had really hoped he didn't plan a surprise party, or anything, because I was just too smart for that. Sooner or later I would always figure it out and when I did... I wasn't too happy about it.

"Milk... eggs... bread... cheese... bologna ..." I mumbled as I checked off each on, and much to my own happiness, headed back to the front of the store when I realized that everything on the list was already crossed off. I had gotten some pointed stares from fellow shoppers, definitely comments about my face. It was still pretty sore but it was easy to forget the cuts and bruises._ How am I supposed to explain this Charlie_?

I wasn't particularly comfortable at the check out aisle. The cashier kept staring at my breasts, and to say he wasn't discreet about it was an understatement. I don't even think he noticed my face. But, for once, I was actually happy about that. The less people who noticed the mess on my face the better.

I put the groceries into the back of the truck with no help. Horny cashier boy offered, but I just wasn't planning on having him touch what I'm supposed to eat. It just isn't sanitary. I drove home as fast as this death trap would allow me to, suspicion wracking my brain the whole time. I knew something was up. Charlie was, much like myself, a very bad liar. The only thing I was afraid of was that if I could figure out _Charlie's _lie, I can only imagine how obviously pathetic my lies were.

When I parked in the driveway of the house, my suspicion only grew. _Why are there two other cars here? _Oh yes, Charlie was definitely up to something, all right_._ With a heavy sigh I picked up the grocery bags and headed inside.

"Hello?" I called, setting everything down on the counter, and began placing the items into the fridge.

"Surprise!" everyone screamed out at once. My hand automatically went to my chest, clutching at my heart through the flesh.

"What the..." I trailed off. After all of the million times I'd told Charlie no surprises. He goes out and does this? I was shocked, giddy, upset and mad all at the same time.

Everyone's happy faces fell and turned into one of shock, horror and concern. It was then that I realized who was there. My mom, Renee. My step-dad, Phil. And Jacob Black, and his father, Billy. This was... special.

"Oh, my god, my baby! What happened to you?" Renee yelled, her voice full of emotion, as she hugged me. She touched my face and I instantly recoiled. She kept saying 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry' over and over again.

"It's nothing, mom."

"You're dead wrong, Bells. Who did this to you?" Charlie stepped in, and I could've sworn I saw his hand twitch towards his gun.

"Yeah... I knew there was something I forgot to tell you about..." Jake muttered, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

"You knew?" Charlie replied angrily, his face red, turning his head towards Jake.

"Char – dad, relax. It was just a fight at school. No biggie."

"Who did this?" he repeated, snapping his head in my direction.

"Lauren Mallory." I sighed.

"Lauren did this to you?" I nodded, "I knew that girl was no good." he mumbled.

"Charlie, she'll be okay. Lauren has been suspended for two weeks." Jake convinced.

"So, that'll make my daughter's bruises go away? Is that it?" Charlie yelled, slamming his hand firmly on the table.

"That's enough, Charlie!" Renee said, "Now this is Bella's birthday. She needs to enjoy it while she can." she stated firmly. Her face was turned to me when she said, "Come on, sweetheart. We'll figure this out together." she cooed, giving me another big hug. I couldn't even manage the strength to plaster a fake smile across my face. It was too much.

"You know what? I'm just a little bit overwhelmed. I'm just gonna stay in my room for a little." I mumbled, trying not to cry. I ran upstairs, ignoring people calling for me to come down or Charlie's apologies, and shut my door gently. Not having enough strength to let my anger show. It was all getting to me it seemed.

I felt alone. I hadn't known Edward for long, but when he left, he took a piece of my heart with him, and it hurt, I had a feeling it would always hurt. I couldn't describe it; it just did. It didn't matter whether it be the age, the location, or the amount of time we spent. It just plain hurt. And I was even letting Lauren get to me. _Lauren._ I was still having a hard time getting over that one. All I wanted to do was cry. And that I did.

**EPOV**

Finally. After what like forever, which Alice told me was only four days, I was going home. My new home. Wherever Bella was it was my home. To Forks.

**BPOV**

After about ten minutes of sobbing I heard a soft knock at the door, "Bells, can I come in?" Jacob asked.

"Sure, whatever. I've got nothing to lose." I mumbled – except for my heart.

"Bella, don't say that," he said once inside the room, closing the door behind him, "There's something more to it than that. Something's been going on with you and I wanna know what. Please, tell me." he pleaded, coming to sit down on the bed with me. He put his arm around my shoulder in comfort, and it felt... nice. His warmth felt really nice.

"There's nothing to tell." I shrugged, letting my head fall onto his shoulder for support.

**EPOV**

I was able to convince my family to let me go, with the help of my sweet pixie sister. Everyone was disappointed, especially my wonderful mother, Esme. She is not someone you want to disappoint, she is so kind and compassionate that you strive only to never let her down.

But this was something I had to do. I needed to. I needed to clear the air. There were too many things left unsaid. And this time, they would be said.

**BPOV**

"Bells, open up to me. You know you can trust me, right?" Jake said with an encouraging smile. He _was_ a childhood friend, one whom I had forgotten about but a friend none the less. The weird part was his statement actually proved true. I _did_ trust him, in such a short amount of time, I did.

"Why did Lauren do that to you?" he asked, concern in his voice.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does."

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" I snapped suddenly, regretting it after I caught glimpse of the hurt look on his face, "I'm sorry, Jake, I didn't mean it like that. I just -"

"I have a present for you." he said the words in such a rush I almost didn't catch them all.

**EPOV**

I was on my flight now. Just hours away from Forks, Washington, and time couldn't go fast enough. The entire time I had spent on the cruise all I could think about, all I could dream about was a chocolate eyed, mahogany haired beauty. It was anything but right but I wanted, needed to tell her how I felt.

**BPOV**

"Jake, you didn't have to–"

"I wanted to." he cut me off, digging into his pocket to retrieve the gift.

What I saw made my heart speed up and the butterflies unleash in my stomach. The feeling that I had always despised around Jacob. It felt so good, yet so wrong. He pulled out a small velvet box, and gestured for me to take it.

"I don't know if I can–"

"Just open it." he encouraged.

I reluctantly opened the small box to find a pair of diamond studs placed within it.

"Oh my god. It is so... beautiful, Jake." I sobbed, admiring the earrings. They truly were beautiful. I was almost at a loss for words. They were breathtaking.

"Yes, you are." he stated softly.

"How much did you... no, I can't even know. It'll probably kill me."

"Ignorance is bliss." he chuckled, leaning in closer with a determined look in his eyes.

"Jacob, what are you doing?" I choked out as I felt his warm breath fanning my face, and I bit my lip.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he challenged.

"It looks like you're trying to kiss me." I accused.

**EPOV**

I felt a tightening in my chest – anxiety. It must have been because I was getting so close to her with each passing minute. Then I felt anger boil within me for no reason whatsoever, and it confused me. What was causing this?

**BPOV**

"It looks like you're right." he chuckled, before he slowly began to act on his original intentions.

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**A/N:** **I really liked the idea of switching between ExBPOV very quickly towards the end, I think it kind of adds to the excitement and it's a nice build-up for what was to come, at least that's how I look at it.**

**Reviews are much appreciated.**


	11. Dilemma

**BPOV**

"_Jacob, what are you doing?" I choked out as I felt his warm breath fanning my face, and I bit my lip._

"_What does it look like I'm doing?" he challenged._

"_It looks like you're trying to kiss me." I accused._

"_It looks like you're right." he chuckled, before he slowly began to act on his original intentions._

"Jacob, please sto_–_" I started but was cut off by his lips crashing down on mine. What was happening? This couldn't be happening. It felt so surreal. Like a dream. As much as I wanted to deny it, I liked the feeling. I welcomed it. I was enjoying the sensation his lips brought to me. I never wanted that sensation to end.

But I knew this wasn't right, it couldn't be. We had to stop this. "Jake," I mumbled against his lips, trying to get his attention, and he had obviously taken the wrong way, as if I had moaned his name, because he had increased the pressure.

"Jake, no." I managed to say again, pushing him away. The hurt look on his face instantly made me feel guilty.

"Bella... what? What is it? Did I do something wrong?" he panicked.

"No... no that's just the thing, Jacob. You did everything right. You always do!" I sighed heavily, throwing my hands up in the air to emphasize. I... I wanted him. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't seem to forget Edward. I was stuck in between a rock and a hard place here.

I thought I was, somehow, in love with Edward... but Jacob made me question everything I knew. He was confusing. He was frustrating. He was exciting. He was endearing. He seemed to make everything more difficult and stressful for me on a daily basis these days without even knowing it. But that only made me want him _more_.

"What are you talking about, Bells?" he inquired, the confusion evident on his features.

"I don't... I don't even know, Jake," I chuckled bitterly, "I'm up. I'm down. I'm starting wonder if I'm bipolar or not." I teased.

"Okay, you're really starting to scare me." he warned.

I chuckled again, though this time it was genuine. "I'm sorry. This all made more sense in my head." I mumbled, running my fingers through my mahogany hair.

"Look, Bella, I'm sorry for kissing you," he stated apologetically, remorse in his voice, "I got carried away. But... god, you just looked... so beautiful when you opened that box. Your eyes lit up and that smile..." he trailed off.

"Don't be. It's not your_–_" I started but he cut me off.

"Don't say it's not my fault. I took advantage of the situation. I just acted on impulse I guess. Male testosterone. That sort of shit, you know?" he chuckled and I joined in.

"Right... I'm still sorry." I stated genuinely.

"No worries, Bells." he was brushing himself off, but I could hear the hurt laced under his tone.

"Maybe you should..." I trailed off. Not wanting to say the words.

"Yeah." he agreed, getting the message.

"So... um... see you tomorrow, Bells?" he amended nervously, running his fingers through his ever-growing jet black hair. It strangely reminded me of Edward, and the pain hit me so hard it took my breath away. But, thankfully, Jacob didn't notice.

"Same time. Same Place." I laughed, and I noticed more of the hurt consumed him, a brief flash in his eyes, before he quickly composed himself, walking out the door. As he did so, I felt a strange feeling prick in my chest. Like something was being torn. Torn away from me. I felt a sense of loss as I counted every footstep he took until he reached the bottom of the staircase.

I knew I was forcing myself to do this. After he kissed me, I wanted to be closer. Closer to him in every way possible, yet so far away at the same time. The moment he kissed me it tasted sweet, yet forbidden. I felt a warmth spread through me, but also a cold chill. I knew why that was. One half of my heart still belonged to Edward, while Jacob was slowly but surely worming his way into the second half.

If I had met Jacob before Edward, I would have gone for it. But Edward was holding me back, and I didn't seem to mind. It wasn't in a bad way. I enjoyed held back, if it was by Edward, at least. I enjoyed the feeling of saying I had someone to give my heart to.

Unfortunately, I _had_ given my heart. But in the end, I felt like I winded up with nothing. My heart undeniably belonged to Edward Cullen, and he was probably over 7,000 miles away on the other side of the world right now. And no matter how many times I tugged and fought and pulled, I couldn't retrieve my heart from his grip. That's what it felt like, day in and day out.

He left. Without a single word. He left. I knew it was going to be painful. To have to see him everyday in class and act as if nothing out of the ordinary happened between us, but this was even more painful. Not knowing where he was, or what he was doing. It was excruciating. I just wanted to believe he still cared, and I found myself convincing myself that he did, which only made me crave his presence more frequently than necessary.

I was being selfish, undeniably so. I knew it. I was falling for two men, and I wanted two men. I was stuck in between. It was silly for me to act this way when one man wasn't even here, and probably never will be. But a little voice in the back of my head always convinced never to leave him behind.

I felt like I couldn't put him in my past. I _needed_ to put him forward, in my future. I didn't want to believe that the only thing I would have left of him were vague memories, instead I wished for future photographs, and happiness.

"Bella?" my mom called from behind the door. My eyes widened, I had totally forgotten about my family being here.

"Come in." I said hoarsely, I hadn't realized while I was so wrapped in my thoughts that I had, unconsciously, let a few tears escape.

A second later I heard the door softly creak open, "My poor baby." Renee cried, coming over to the bed to envelop in a tight hug.

"Hi... mom... can't... really... breath." I choked out, failing at my attempts to gasp for the much needed air in between words.

"Sorry. Are you okay, sweetheart? Ugh, I still can't believe this _Lauren_," she said the name in distaste (huh, so we were more alike than I thought), "girl did this to you. Do her parents know about this? They need to teach that girl some respect, that's what they need to do. I think two weeks suspension is a treat, don't you? She needs be out longer. Oh, but you'll survive, honey. Everyone will be okay in the end. If I had a dime for every single time I_–_"

"Okay, mom, thank you." I smiled. Renee, always the chatterbox.

"Right, okay. Don't listen to me. I'm just silly, old mom." she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, come on, mom, you know I don't think of you that way. You're not _that_ old." I teased.

"I'm only 36, I don't have that many miles on me." she chuckled.

"Too much information." I warned, and she laughed again.

"I'm sorry about your father," she stated seriously, "his outburst was uncalled for."

"No, I don't blame him. If I was in his position I probably would've acted the same way." I sighed.

"It's a little bit different with fathers, sweetheart. It's as if they're the big protective lions and the daughters are the fragile little lambs that need to be kept safe. It's something they can't really turn off."

"Yeah, I kind of figured that," I laughed and rolled my eyes, "so, how are long are you staying?"

"About two days. Phil is going to Minnesota next week for a big game, or at least, a big game for him," she chuckled, "and we have to start packing, make the arrangements, things like that."

"Shouldn't you have done that months ago?"

"Yeah, I'm always the last minute thinker." she smiled. And that much was true. My mother was always somewhat immature, and never quite fit into parenthood. When you needed her she would be there but I always thought of her as more of a best friend rather than a mother, which went to my advantage at times, but at other times it backfired.

"Love you, mom." I smiled, trying to hold back the tears.

"Love you too, baby." Renee smiled, pulling me into a tight hug once more.

"Bells?" Charlie called from downstairs.

"What is it, dad?" I replied softly because I wasn't mad at him, I was more mad at myself.

"Please come down here, I wanna talk to you." he pleaded.

With a heavy sigh I got up to my feet, I saw my mom mouthing 'good luck' to me at the bedroom door as I descended down the stairs.

"What's up?"

"I'm sorry, Bells, really. I just... I lost it."

"It's okay," I soothed, trying to comfort him, "In a way, I don't blame you."

"No, it's not. I... I didn't mean to scare you off like that. I was just so angry... whoever hurts my kid, hurts me."

"Aww, dad." I cooed, giving him a tight hug. I knew he wasn't one for affection, but I didn't really care at that moment. "I like how you're always so protective me to the point if insanity; it just makes you a better dad." I encouraged.

"Thanks, Bells." he patted my back awkwardly, but I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Just promise me one thing?" I said, pulling back to get a good luck at his face.

"What's that?" he questioned, intrigued.

"Don't shoot Lauren." I teased, raising an eyebrow waiting for a response.

"Dammit, there goes my plans for the evening. I already knew where I was gonna hide the body and everything. Even had the gun out." he whined teasingly.

"But you're the chief of police." I gasped in mock horror.

"That's the good part about it, no one would suspect." he grinned mischievously.

"Ha. Ha." I mock laughed, rolling my eyes, as I released him, taking seat on the couch.

"Well, now that that's settled... did you hear?" Charlie asked, plopping down his regular recliner.

"Hear what?"

"You're teacher... his name is, uh... Mr. Collin I think. Strange, really, he left with no real explanations. But he's coming back, though." he stated nonchalantly.

"You mean Mr. Cullen?" I swallowed hard.

"Yeah... yeah, that's it." he mumbled dismissively, turning on the television.

It was easy for him as he watched the acted out scenarios on the square, meaningless box in front us as if the meaning of life had just appeared there as I felt my heart both jump in excitement and collapse in anxiety all at the same time.

**JPOV**

I didn't plan on anything like that happening. I just wanted to celebrate my best friend's, and coincidentally, student's birthday. I just wanted to give her the present I had been saving up for. I just wanted to have a nice, carefree day with the girl I've been crushing on since day one. Instead, all I managed to accomplish was a kiss that would for sure screw with our relationship somehow.

Why did things always have to be so complicated? I found myself laying awake that night shamelessly wondering why she pushed me away. Did she not like me? Or was she just not ready? Was there another guy in the picture? The thought made my chest ache. The feelings there were just so hard to ignore. _Bella, just give me a chance._

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**A/N: Reviews are much appreciated.**


	12. New Neighbors

**BPOV**

I lay in my bed later that night, unmoving. I was absentmindedly holding my gaze on the ceiling, burning a hole in it as I stared into space. My family had repeatedly begged me to celebrate, but what was there to celebrate, really? Do I celebrate the one year closer to wrinkles and gray hair? Or do I celebrate the one year closer to being the lonely, old lady with 20 cats? Wow, they both sound so tempting it was hard to choose.

The blood was pulsing rapidly through my veins, I could feel it, filled with anticipation. My heartbeat had lost all chances of decreasing in speed once I had began to think back on the beautiful bronze haired Adonis that filled my every waking thought.

Despite the heavy anticipation, I felt a lump rise in my throat and a cold sweat break out on the back of my neck. The anxiety was still, unfortunately, a huge part of me at the moment. How was I going to deal with this? I knew he wasn't coming back to make things right between us.

Edward wasn't the type to just drop of all his morals and go in for the kill, so to speak. In the past few weeks I'd known I knew that he was stubborn at times, too much for his own good, and once he made the stand, he couldn't be moved. His decisions were permanent.

I screamed into a pillow to release the frustration building inside of me, though I really didn't think the fluffy material covered up the painful shriek.

"Hey, Bells, come down here, please! We have some visitors!" Charlie called from downstairs.

"Make them leave." I mumbled sullenly, knowing I had wasted my breath. I doubted he had even heard me.

I slowly pulled the covers of my body, procrastinating as much as time would allow, and trudged down the stairs reluctantly.

"Who..." I started but trailed off, my eyes widening.

At the door stood a familiar face. A female. She had crystal blue eyes, and long strawberry blond hair. She was tall, an inch or two more than Charlie, though that was probably due to the two to three inch platinum heels she was wearing (I would die in those things).

She wore a short jean skirt with belt-buckle, the hemline only coming down to her mid-thigh accompanied by a baby blue tank top with a skull being the main symbol **(A/N: Link on Profile)**. She looked like she was going to a club rather than a neighborhood home.

She had a smile plastered across her perfectly molded face, but it wasn't at all genuine. It seemed fake at best. Poor Charlie just stood there with his mouth gaping open. I knew I had seen her somewhere before, but I couldn't pinpoint where.

"Hello," the female voice greeted, her voice was fake and seductive, whether she intended it to sound like that or not, I wasn't sure, "I'm sorry to bother you but my sister just moved into the house across from yours. My name is Tanya."

The moment she said that name the memories came rushing back to me.

"_Tanya. Is. Not. My. Girlfriend." Edward amended, each word separate and distinct. _

"_Then why -" I began but was cut off._

"_Crazy ex. Can't let go." he grumbled, running his fingers through his hair, most likely a nervous habit._

"_Oh." I said numbly, feeling even dumber than I had before. _

"Well, Bella, don't just stand there like the all hell's frozen over, come and say hi to our new neighbor." Charlie encouraged, snapping me out of my thoughts. I would have laughed at how anxious he was to interact with our half-naked guest if it weren't for the situation.

"Just for the record, I'm no new neighbor. My sister, Irina, is. I'm just helping out. But I'll be staying for a few weeks to help her get settled in and adjust." Tanya informed, the sourly fake smile that was stained on her face almost made me sick.

"Well, please come in." Charlie announced eagerly.

When the Tanya turned to me, expectant, I mirrored the same fake smile on my face as she had. "Bella." I introduced, trying to say as little words as possible as I reluctantly reached out and shook her hand. _Who knows where those hands have been_, I thought as I grabbed a disinfectant wipe from the coffee table, hoping she didn't notice this.

She shot me a menacing glare before speaking, "What a lovely home you have. Oh, do you mind if take one?" she asked, gesturing towards the wipes. So, she _did _notice... nice.

"Sure, go ahead." Charlie encouraged, a big, stupid grin on his face.

"I'm sorry," she said as she rubbed the thin cotton along her hands, "It's just that I've been touching a lot of _things _lately and I'm scared to find out where they've been." Tanya stated, giving a satisfied smirk at my expression. I had no idea what I looked like but it must've been bad.

"So, why did your sister move here?" Charlie asked, intrigued. By what? I'm not sure.

All I knew is that I did _not_ want to hear this story. "I'm gonna go make myself a cup of hot chocolate." I mumbled, heading off to the kitchen. Though it went unnoticed by my hypnotized father.

_Why, out of all of the places in the world, does she end up in my house?_ I thought scornfully as I heated up the water for my hot beverage. I knew I had bad luck but this was just overdoing it. So I'm getting the teacher whom I happen to love's slutty ex-girlfriend's sister as my neighbor? Yeah, that sentence was _really _messed up.

It hurt to come to the realization that Edward and his ex-girlfriend were going to be in the same town, itsy, bitsy teeny, weeny Forks, Washington. It's not that hard to bump into someone you don't want to, and it was impossible to hide here.

Edward had said himself that he had no feelings for her. But she was so beautiful, model-like, they had to be together. They were the perfect match. Inhumanly beautiful. They were the Brad Pitt and Angela Jolie of Forks. Well, except for the onslaught of kids. Was the Vietnamese baby really necessary? I mean, come on, really? Any way, that wasn't the point.

The point was that all I would ever be was plain Jane Bella. Pale as a ghost. My hair and eyes were a dull shade of brown, the color of dirt. I chuckled bitterly to myself. Ghosts are invisible, just like me. People walk all over dirt, just like me.

I thirstily dumped the packet of powdered chocolate into the steaming hot cup of water, and sat down at the table in hopes of clearing my head. My hope went out the window when I realized I could faintly hear Charlie and Tanya's conversation from the living room. I went digging through the drawers to find any form of ear plugs when I heard something that caught my attention.

"You know Mr. Cullen?" Charlie asked, surprise and shock in his voice. I was intrigued. I stepped away from the counter, and leaned in closer towards the kitchen entrance so I could hear their voices more clearly. Eavesdropping was one of my feats, easy.

"Yes, he's my boyfriend." Tanya stated, and I could hear the deviant smile in her voice. The way she said the word 'boyfriend' caused a pain to rip through my chest, but I ignored it. _It's not true, It's not true, It's not true_, I mumbled silently to myself over and over.

"How long have you two been dating?" he questioned, disappoint filled his voice now. _Poor Charlie._

"It'll be four years in November. Just a week before my 22rd birthday." she lied, and smoothly. No, Edward wouldn't lie to me. This has to be a joke. He _did_ say she couldn't let go. _Yeah, that's it_, I convinced myself. She's just lying. But 22? No, she had to be lying about her age too. If she was that old that would have to mean Edward started dating her when she was my age.

I stopped listening then, drowned the voices out. _Edward wouldn't... he couldn't... he didn't... _my mind stumbled in confusion.

**EPOV**

My back was aching from the seats and my head was throbbing from lack of sleep but it didn't matter. We were landing now, and I would finally see Bella again. It was too late to see her now, I would have to wait until morning. I would visit her home. I hadn't warned the school about my return which meant that I would have to wait until the substitute filled in for the required three weeks, now a remaining two and a half weeks, until I would be able to return to teaching.

"Hello, is there anything I can get you? Anything at all? " a tall, blond flight attendant asked, and I didn't fail to miss the double meaning in her words. I had to admit, she was very beautiful, but after having every female flight attendant, and I believe one male, hit on me I was quickly losing my patience with these people.

"No. Nothing at all. Thank you." I dismissed, not looking at her, hoping she would get the message. Apparently, she did. One big 'humph', and several foot stomping later she was gone.

"Attention fliers, we are now in Forks, Washington. Please secure yourselves for landing." a male flight attendant announced, winking at me. I shuddered.

**BPOV**

After Tanya left Charlie depressingly dragged himself towards his bedroom. I would have giggled at his poor expression but I couldn't find the strength to. All I could think about was Edward and Tanya's supposed history. I just couldn't grasp what she really meant. Had Edward really dated her that young? I found it hard to believe considering the fact that he found me so forbidden. For Christ's Sake, he was probably sexing her up at my age!

Was it really my age? Or did he just use that as an excuse to get out of something he really didn't want? That was the question I asked myself all the way to bed that night as I cried into my pillow, leaving my defenses, insecurities, and fears wide open, and I didn't care. I cried for myself, I cried for Edward, I cried for Jacob's pain, my pain, everyone's pain, I even cried for my puppy that ran away and got hit by a car when I was eight. My last thought though, was of Jacob, causing a calming warmth to creep over me, as I succumbed to sleep, welcoming the feeling.

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**A/N: Again, check my profile for Tanya's outfit. And don't worry, I'll let Eddie give you all HIS side of the story in chapters to come.**

**Reviews are much appreciated.**


	13. Pain & Decisions

**BPOV**

"Dammit," I mumbled to myself, desperately trying to find my keys. My alarm had failed to go off this morning, and I was already 15 minutes late for school.

"Where are you?" I mumbled yet again, searching under the couch cushions. Talking to inanimate objects - never a good sign. I'd already torn half of the house apart looking for those damned things. Charlie will not be pleased. I played with my earring as I searched, for what reason I wasn't sure. I was going to wear my present from Jake today to show that I still cared for him. I just hope he would understand this.

"Is this what you're looking for?" a familiar voice asked, and I turned around to see a very peeved Charlie with the keys to my truck.

I rushed over to him and snatched the keys away. "Thanks dad. Love you." I said in a rush. I needed to stay and apologize, even help him clean up the mess but I was just too late for school already. I needed to get there as fast as possible. I grabbed a toasted bagel on my way out, because let's face it, I didn't have any time for an actual breakfast.

Out in the yard I had hoped that I wouldn't run in to Tanya, but my hope quickly fizzled when I found her sitting on the front porch stairs of her house, or rather, her sister's house.

"Bella." she smiled fakely, after noticing me.

"Hi." I said awkwardly, trying to be as polite as I could.

"Haven't you ever heard of cover up?" she stated smugly. Okay, wow, straight forward much? She pointed out my bruises, which were healing up quite nicely, thank you very much.

"Haven't you ever heard of keeping your mouth shut?" I mumbled, mostly to myself, but I knew she had heard it because she huffed angrily at me. I didn't stick around though to hear her response.

I silently cursed my truck the whole way to school. It could barely go 50 miles an hour, I couldn't go over the speed limit in this town even if I wanted to. I needed to look into a something a little bit faster, like a Porsche maybe. I snorted, not like I'd ever be able to afford something that flashy.

About 10 minutes away from school I heard a loud noise erupt from the engine before the truck abruptly halted.

"Oh no," I mumbled in panic, "No, no, no, no." I kept mumbling, turning the keys in the ignition, trying to get it to start. No such luck.

"No, don't do this now." I pleaded. I was pleading with an engine. How do you get anymore pathetic?

I got out of the truck and opened up the front hood, and it was, of course, smoking.

"Dammit." I cursed, trying to blow the smoke away as if that would magically make it all better.

I didn't know the first thing about cars, how was I supposed to fix this?

I saw a car pass me by and then stop, probably noticing my little dilemma, but I didn't pay much attention to it. That is until I heard a creepily familiar voice behind me.

"Need some help?" he asked, and I shuddered at his attempt to sound flirtatious.

"No, Mike. I'm good."

"Yeah, you definitely are." he chuckled, and I could feel his eyes fixated on my ass.

"Is there a reason as to why you're here, Mike? Shouldn't you be in school or something?" I turned out, which was probably a bad idea. Because now he had full frontal view of my boobs.

"Well, shouldn't you? " he retorted, "and for you information, my alarm didn't go off this morning. That's why I'm on my way there now." Wow, do I detect a little attitude coming on?

"Well, looks like we're in the same situation." I answered.

"Need a ride?" he questioned, and he seemed genuinely concerned. He was a sweet guy, but not my type at all. He was now with Jessica but I could always feel that he was somehow flirting with me.

"No, I'll just walk."

"You don't have to, you know."

"No, I really should. I need the exercise." I pointed out, though I really didn't. I was as thin as a rail and weighed near close to 110 pounds. Exercise was just something I didn't necessarily need to worry about, at least not for a nice physic.

"Come on, it's gonna rain soon." he convinced.

"Nothing out of the ordinary." I chuckled.

"Please?" he pleaded, "Just one ride?"

I looked at him and back at my truck and sighed in defeat.

"One ride." I agreed, holding up one index finger to emphasize.

"One ride." he repeated, smiling.

I climbed into his car, and slipped on the seatbelt.

"Thanks." I said graciously.

"No problem." he grinned happily, beginning to drive.

"So, what kind of car is this?

"It's a Hyundai Accent 2003. My parents got it for my sixteenth birthday, it's a little old-fashioned for my taste, but eh, what are ya gonna do?" he shrugged.

"That's pretty cool."

The rest of the drive was mostly silence, he tried to start up conversations but I quickly squashed his attempts. I wasn't, under any circumstances, in the mood for major chit chat.

When we pulled into the school parking lot I was surprised to find that Mike hadn't tried anything with me, but that could've had something to do with the fact that Jessica was right there waiting for him, watching us intently like a hawk.

"Thanks for the ride, Mike." I smiled politely, opening the car door and getting out.

"Anytime." he winked. Okay, so he was still disgusting. What did you expect?

I ran towards my class ignoring the third degree that Jessica was giving Mike. At least I wouldn't be scolded for being the only late student.

I headed to my first class, Biology. Mr. Banner was going to kill me.

During History Jacob and I barely made any eye contact and tried to avoid each other as much as possible. I just knew that kiss would make things awkward between us. This couldn't happen. No. The same thing happened with Edward and he left me. _But that was under different circumstances_, I convinced myself. _But what if he leaves you too? _My logical side reasoned. I had to bring it up. It was a subject that couldn't be ignored.

"Jake?" I tapped his shoulder to get his attention as the last student left the classroom. This was a conversation we needed to have alone.

"Yeah, Bells?" he said, turning his attention away from his papers to look at me. I held up one finger, silently asking him to wait as I closed the door so no one would be able to hear us.

"We really need to talk." I announced, coming back to him setting my books down onto his desk.

"I know." he sighed.

"Why did you do it?" I cut straight to the chase.

"I don't know," he mumbled, running his fingers threw is growing hair, "I just... I liked you a lot, Bells, back when you would visit every summer. You know, I was crushed when you convinced Charlie to come visit _you_ those last three summers. I missed you like hell." he admitted, his voice was pained. And it made my chest ache. I just wanted to console him.

"I didn't know that. I'm sorry." I stated dumbly.

"Don't worry, Bells. It's cool now. I guess some of those feelings just resurfaced. I thought I was fine and then I see you again and BOOM, all those feelings come flooding back to me. But I got it under control. No worries." he lied. I could see the hurt evident in his eyes.

"You know Jake... I really... I'm just so sorry..." I trailed off. My original intention was to admit my feelings towards him, but that would only making everything even more complicated. I couldn't do that right now. I was hurting too much, and he was hurting too much. This wasn't the right situation. I was always the rational thinker, and right now wasn't the time to slip up and take irrational action. I wanted to though, I wanted to so badly. But I couldn't.

"Bella." Jake cooed, pulling me in for a hug. I wrapped my arms securely around his waist and let a few small, silent tears escape, the salt water staining his shirt. The guilt was eating away at me. I wanted him. I knew I did. And he wanted me. But I knew I could never give my whole heart, the one thing that he deserved. He deserved someone who loved him completely and unconditionally, loved him and only him, but I wasn't that person. I had fallen for someone else along with him. He didn't deserve to be put in that situation.

"Are we gonna be okay?" I sniffed about ten minutes later, my head buried in his chest.

"We'll be just fine." he whispered, kissing the top of my head.

"Are you sure?" I asked worriedly, my grip tightening around his waist.

"I'm sure." he said reassuringly, and I could feel the wetness on my head. He had been crying as well.

"I'm sorry." I said one last time, pulling away from him to get a good look at his face.

"Bells, we are gonna be fine." he reassured once more, brushing away my tears.

I smiled sweetly at him. "Thank you." I wanted to kiss his cheek to somehow comfort him, but that would only have made it more painful for the both of us.

"I should be going." I said sadly, grabbing my books.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea." he admitted awkwardly.

"Again... thank you."

"No problem." he waved me off.

"Wearing the earrings, huh?" he pointed out and I blushed, walking out the door.

I felt guilty for leaving. I wanted to stay and I wanted to tell him how I felt, no, I wanted to show him how I felt. But I couldn't. It wouldn't be right. He deserved more than me. I did nothing but hurt him so why does he still want me? See, I told you he was confusing.

I walked home silently. I didn't even care about my truck. Mike had offered me a ride once again, but I apologetically declined it. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold back my emotions, and having a break down in Mike's car wouldn't really help anything.

I passed it along the way home, but there was nothing I could do at that point. I couldn't do anything to help my truck, and I couldn't do anything to help my love life. All I could see was Jacob's face right in front of me, the image was burned into my brain. I was feeling his pain, and his pain hurt, it hurt so bad. When I got to Charlie's driveway I couldn't hold back any longer. I cried. My chest hurt so bad. I cried harder. The empty feeling in my heart was unbearable. I cried even harder. I cried so hard I could barely breathe.

Where was my happy ending? Where was my prince charming? The only thing I had to look forward to was being alone and empty, carrying the burden of guilt by hurting two people that meant so much to me. I just wanted someone to hold. It was childish, but I did. I felt like I had been fighting out there in the cold for far too long now. Now I just wanted someone to keep me warm, kiss my forehead, and tell me that they loved me.

I cried endlessly for hours, curled up into a ball, just sobbing on the front porch. The pain was so overwhelming. I just wasn't ready to go inside. I couldn't face my father yet. I needed to cry freely and without question. Once I had gotten myself under control, or rather, partly under control, I dragged myself inside the house.

I opened the door and saw a figure sitting in the shadows, "Okay, Charlie, I'm gonna start dinner. I'm sorry I'm late." I stated tiredly, and I knew I looked horrible. I didn't care. I would tell him about the truck later. I was on my way to the kitchen when an eerily familiar voice answered instead of my father.

"Charlie's not here."

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**A/N: Reviews are much appreciated.**


	14. Surprise, Surprise

**EPOV**

I stared at her house from the inside of my Volvo, contemplating whether or not I should go in. No one was home, that much I could tell by the empty driveway. But I needed to talk with her. I knew I had a lot of explaining to do. She deserved the truth. She was probably in school by now so I would be waiting here for quite a while.

I got out of my car warily, praying that no one would call the chief on me thinking that I was a burglar of some kind. I snorted loudly, what would the Chief of Police think of me breaking into his own house? I wasn't exactly sure what had possessed to me do this, but I started searching various places for a key.

A few minutes later, I found something hard and cold under the mat._ Hallelujah! _I silently shouted. Spare keys – I suddenly praised spare keys. I opened the door, hoping that there was no alarm system. Wow, I really was sounding like a burglar, now wasn't I?

A few hours passed, just sitting on the couch, and there was still no sign of Bella. I was pretty sure that school had ended well over an hour ago. _Relax, Edward, maybe she's out shopping_, my logical mind reasoned._ Or maybe she knows you're here and trying to avoid you_, my irrational mind concluded. I just wanted to tell it to shut the hell up.

I waited. I waited. And I waited some more. Until I heard sounds coming from outside. I was by the window in an instant watching a sobbing Bella sit on the porch, making my beating heart ache. I wanted to come out and console her, ask her what was wrong. But this wasn't how it was supposed to be done. What would she think of be coming out of her house in a moment like this? I needed to wait just a little bit longer. She needed to be inside.

About 15 minutes later, which seemed more like 15 hours, I heard the door creak open and Bella step inside. She didn't notice me right away. When I first came into the house all of the lights were off, the only light was from the sun illuminating through the unshaded windows, and I had kept it that way. I didn't want to draw attention to myself.

"Okay, Charlie. I'm gonna start dinner. I'm sorry I'm late." she said, sounding a little tired. She was on her way to the kitchen when I finally had to speak.

I took a deep breath and answered, "Charlie's not here."

**BPOV**

I turned around, startled at the voice. But I wasn't afraid. I already knew who was waiting for me in the shadows. I could tell that velvety voice apart from any other in the world, "Edward?" I stated in shock.

"Bella." he sighed, his voice was hopeful. He got up from the coach and stepped forward with a frown on his face.

"W... wait, what the hell are you doing in my house? How did you get in here?" I contemplated whether I should go run and hug him for being here, or throw a can of soup at him and run.

"I thought about waiting in my car for hours, but I found a key under the mat and let myself in..." he trailed off.

"Oh, so you're stalking me now?" I half-teased, half-accused.

"No!" he shouted, causing me to jump, "No, oh god, Bella, I'm sorry. I wasn't... I just really needed to speak with you."

"You need to get out. Now." I warned icily.

"Bella, please, just give me a chance to explain." he begged sadly.

"Well, Edward, explain something to me. Explain why you left me." I felt a tear escape from my eyes and I silently cursed my ability to produce tears. I didn't want to seem weak.

"Bella, please don't cry," he pleaded softly, "I didn't want to leave you. Really, I didn't." he convinced.

"Oh, what, then? Don't tell me you were dragged away by evil aliens onto a cruise against your will." I amended sarcastically.

"Well... there was an evil alien named Alice involved." he chuckled, scratching the back of his head nervously.

"What?" my brows knitted together in confusion.

"Bella, I swear to you, I would never have left here on my own accord. It was just a family vacation. Nothing more, nothing less." he admitted, he looked desperate for me to believe him.

"Why should I believe you?" I voiced my earlier thoughts.

He sighed. "You're right. You have no reason to. But you can ask Alice, you can ask Emmett. Hell, bring on the lie detector test if it's really necessary. I don't care, Bella. But I would never lie to you. I... missed you so much." his voice broke on the last word.

"What about Tanya?" I spat, jealousy clear in my voice. Why was I doing this? I thought if he ever came back to me I would jump into his arms and kiss him senseless. Instead, I was here making him feel even guiltier than before. _He made you go through so much pain, he deserves it_, my brain convinced. And I knew it was right.

His eyes widened. "_What_ about Tanya?" he repeated in confusion, turning the question back on me.

"I know you two are still together, Edward. She told Charlie all about it." I admitted, and watched him sweat it out.

"When was Tanya doing anywhere near Charlie?" he inquired in shock.

"Oh, didn't ya hear? Tanya's sister is my new neighbor. Oh joy." I mused, the sarcasm clear in my voice.

"Oh, god..." he mumbled, mostly to himself, "Bella, you have to believe me. She was lying about everything. Going out with her was a mistake in the first place, I never planned on doing it again." he pleaded.

"I also heard that your first date was when she was 18, is that correct?" I asked harshly. I had so much anger, and so many questions bottled up inside of me. I needed answers and I needed them fast.

His Adam's apple bobbed as he was put on the spot yet again. "That... that is true." he admitted, closing his eyes tightly and waiting for the aftermath of his admission.

"Why?" was all I managed to choke out, more tears began to fall. The hole in my chest was getting bigger and bigger by every passing moment.

"You have to understand, Bella. This really was under different circumstances. For one, Tanya wasn't my student, and I wasn't her teacher. I was also four years younger than I am now. You could get away with a lot more when you're 26 than when you're 30, trust me." he conveyed reassuringly.

"Do you really expect that to work?" I wanted to believe him, I really did. But it all hurt so bad, and it was a constant reminder that_ he _was the cause of all of my pain and suffering during the past week. I couldn't forgive him for that. Not yet.

"Isabella," he stated firmly, "I am a man with dignity, integrity, and pride. But if you need me to get down on my hands and knees and beg at your feet, I will do it. I will continue to beg for your forgiveness non-stop until my knees are numb and my throat is sore. As long you accept me back into your life. I knew this wasn't going to be easy, and I didn't expect forgiveness right away. But, can you, somehow, let me back into your life? I beg of you Isabella."

"I... I don't know." I choked out. I was losing. I shut my eyes tightly in fear of his reaction and another tear betrayed me, falling

"I understand." he sighed. I still couldn't look at his expression, but the pain in his voice gave it all away.

"Please, Edward. You need to leave. Charlie will be home soon." I pleaded, finally open my eyes and my heart dropped.

Edward had unshed tears in his eyes, and a forced smile. It was the same smile he gave all other students. The same smile that he gave to his staff members. But it wasn't _my_ crooked grin. If we were being honest here, I really missed that it.

"You're right. I'm sorry, Isabella." he sighed apologetically.

"I'm so sorry, Edward." I found myself sobbing.

He looked at me with those smoldering green eyes and I thought my knees would go weak. "You have nothing to be sorry for." he stated in a firm voice, almost as if he was angry with me.

"I'm hurting everybody today. I'm just a horrible person." I cried. I was trying to be in control the whole time. I was trying to show him that I was strong and didn't need him. But I did. And now, as always, I ended up the weakling. I broke down. Why was I always the damsel in distress? Why couldn't I ever be Superwoman?

He pulled me into a hug. "You're not horrible, Isabella. Do you hear me? You are an amazing person." he encouraged, kissing my forehead.

"That's not true. I even hurt Jacob." I whimpered into his chest.

He pulled me back to look at my tear streaked face. "Who's Jacob?" he asked, his brow pulled together in confusion.

"Now's not the time to -" I started but was cut off by the sound of a car door slamming.

"Dammit, Charlie." I mumbled, trying to wipe away the evidence of my tears. "You really have to go, Edward." I warned, pushing him out the back door. I couldn't even imagine what my father would do if he found me at home alone with a 30 year old man.

"Will you please think about this?" he pleaded, and his green eyes were pained.

"Of course." I sniffed. How could I not?

He closed his eyes for a moment and bit his lip, contemplating. "Just... thank you." he said with gratitude in his voice, opening his eyes.

"For what?" I inquired, confused.

But he was already gone.

I was lost in my own world that I barely heard Charlie call for me, "Isabella Marie Swan!" he yelled, and I cringed at the use of my full name. I closed and locked the back door once again.

My eyes widened at the realization that Charlie would have to have seen Edward's Volvo in the driveway. I looked out the window very quickly and saw Edward driving away. His car looked as if it was parked on the side of the street just seconds before. _Smart boy._ I just hoped Charlie wouldn't put two and two together.

"Yes, Charlie?" I asked nervously, biting my lip, waiting for his outburst.

"Do you mind explaining to me why your Chevy is in the middle of the road unattended?" he questioned, and I could tell that his anger was at its peek.

I blew out a sigh of relief. Was that all? I guess I had some explaining to do.

And _a lot_ of thinking to do.

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**A/N:** **Is it what you expected? I didn't make Bella go all psycho on Edward for leaving, but I also didn't make her accept him fully yet. She's just in the middle right now. On a brighter note: YAY! Eddie's back! Pfft, like you didn't already know that.**

**Reviews are much appreciated.**


	15. The Aftermath

**EPOV**

As I drove down the roads of Forks I felt the ache in my chest grow. Every mile apart of her was killing me. I knew it was going to take some time for her to trust me again._ Again_, I snorted in my head, _what makes you think she trusted you the first time?_ I also knew nothing was going to be simple, but I never knew it would hurt this bad.

Even the thought of never speaking to her again, never seeing those big brown eyes that held so much life to them again, made my heart sting. Here I was in my 30's acting like a heartbroken teenager. I couldn't help it, Bella brought out a side of me I never knew I had. I was dealing with all of these new emotions because of her, and I didn't know how to handle them.

I had never been in love before, not even remotely close, let alone heartbreak. I've only dated a few women in my entire life before Bella came along, turning my whole world upside down. I wanted, needed somebody real. The only women I've ever dated were the snobby, fake kind.

And most of those were only to put on a show for the people around. I most definitely knew my sexual orientation, but no one else did, and they began to question it up until I brought home my first girl. Many of my relationships were only to please other people, really.

I cared about them, but they never fulfilled the burning desire within me. The desire that begged for real love, for real intimacy. All they ever wanted from me was to 'screw,' not 'make love' and all they ever wanted me for was to have a good looking man on their shoulder. That was all I was instead of a companion, a partner, a soul mate. I was their trophy, and that was it. Bella never made me feel like that.

I sighed heavily, and decided to call Jasper. I needed to talk to a guy about this one; and Jazz always got what I was feeling. He understood my pain no matter what it was. He was a really good guy, and great for my sister. Sometimes I even considered him to be my own brother.

I reached for my right pocket to pull out my blackberry, but it wasn't there. I mustered up the strength I could just to chuckle at my stupidity, and checked my left pocket. It was empty. I didn't understand. It was there just a little while ago. Right before I went to...

Oh no.

**BPOV**

After making some spaghetti (delicious if I do say so myself) I sat down to eat with Charlie in the kitchen. I was trying to get it down as fast as possible just so I could go up into my room and cry my eyes out, and perhaps get rid of some of this heavy pain. But I knew it was impossible. And, as usual, I needed to put on a show.

"So... is everybody doing alright down at the station?" I asked, trying to start conversation. Charlie was being stubborn and hadn't said a word to me after I had told him about the truck. He had sent a tow truck down to pick it up and get it to the shop.

He grunted in response, as if to say 'Yeah now leave me alone.'

I sighed in frustration. "Dad, you know it wasn't my fault." I defended.

He looked at me and sighed in defeat. "I know, Bells. Damn, couldn't you at least have called and told me before school? That thing was sitting out there practically all day."

"Well, it isn't my fault you bought a piece of crap from Billy." I mumbled under my breath.

"Excuse me, young lady?" he questioned, shocked.

"Nothing. So, uh, good spaghetti, huh?" I replied quickly, shoving the food into my mouth, desperate to change the subject.

"Yup." he agreed, eying me warily as he twirled a few strings of spaghetti with his fork and bringing it up to his mouth.

Once dinner was over I took the liberty of doing the dishes, mainly because Charlie didn't know the first thing about cleaning... well... anything.

"Isabella!" he called my full name for the second time that day as I was drying the last plate. I sat it down in the dish drainer before I strode towards the living room.

"What is it?" I asked in confusion.

"What's this doing here?" he questioned, holding up a blackberry.

"I have no idea." I answered honestly.

"Well, I know it's not mine. And I'm sure it isn't yours. I bought you your own cellphone and it looks nothing like this. Did you trade yours or something?" he asked accusingly, and I swear I could see the steam coming out of his ears.

"No, I swear. I still have mine. See?" I said, pulling out my camera phone. It was nothing flashy. I doubted we could even afford something as expensive as a blackberry.

"Fine then. Then who's is this?"

"It's Angela's." I covered. Crap, you would've thought someone like Edward would be just a little less forgetful.

"Angela Weber? From school?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Angela from school." I repeated. You gotta work with what ya got.

"What was Angela doing here?"

"Big test. We studied together. She is the brains of the group." I pointed out, chuckling. "I should probably call her and tell her she left it here. I bet she's freaking out right now."

"Hmph," he grunted in suspicion but let it go, dropping the blackberry back onto the table.

I breathed a sigh of relief once he left the room, and took the phone in hand, running up to my own bedroom. I shut the door behind me and examined it. Just two minutes later I jumped from a mild noise echoing through the room. Okay, the phone was ringing. _Edward's_ phone was ringing._ Should I?_ Stupid Bella asked, _No! You idiot!_ Logical Bella concluded.

_It's not like he'll ever know_, stupid Bella continued.

_But you'll know_, logical Bella fought.

Ah, screw it.

My gaze locked on the screen to see the caller, instead, all I saw was red.

_Tanya_.

My eyes widened. I just wanted to know why Tanya was calling Edward. At night. At this hour. I contemplated whether or not to answer the call, pretend to be Edward and tell her off. But my rational side got a hold of me then. I had to be the bigger person... and plus, my Edward impression would probably suck. She would know.

So I just let the phone ring. It was killing me to just stand there, but I did. Seconds later it showed that I, I mean _Edward,_ had a new voice mail. I rolled my eyes, I didn't even bother trying to listen. I knew who it would be. I threw the blackberry down on the night stand.

I groaned in frustration as I plopped down onto my bed, pulling the covers over my head, and just... thought. I felt... jealous. As much as I hated to admit it, I was jealous. At times it was still hard for me to actually believe that Edward would ever want me over _her_.

My lack of confidence was overwhelming, but yours would be too. I mean, have you _seen_Tanya? I knew Edward was not that kind of man. But every time I saw her my self-esteem would drop down three levels, and I can't help but think, _Why?_

I just wasn't able to see it in myself. I was just dull, plain Jane Bella. And yet, somehow, this man wanted me. I mean, he cared enough about me to come back, to explain. He even offered to beg at my feet. He saw me in a different light than most people have. And that meant so much.

And I was never the jealous type, but perhaps that was because I never really had feelings for anyone else before. This was all knew to me and I wasn't sure how to deal. I never even connected with boys my age, they were so immature it was laughable. I mean, you have to realize that there was a whole world of Mike Newton's out there. I know, scary, isn't it?

I also couldn't help but find it funny that the only connection I'd ever been able to make was with my teachers. I was beginning to wonder if there some sort of was a glitch in my brain that made me see the world differently than everyone else.

I had thought it over, over and over again inside my head time after time, but it all amounted to nothing in the end. I was hurting Jacob, and I was hurting Edward. I loved them. And I cared about them. But dammit, I had to stop bouncing back and forth. I needed to make a decision. But my heart was being split in two, making it complete torture and agony to even consider letting any one of them go.

Both my mind and my body were exhausted from the events that had taken place today. I was confused. I was distraught. I couldn't help but let my eyes droop. I couldn't even think anymore. I fell asleep in a pool of tears, only to succumb to terrifying and heart wrenching dreams in the night. Alone.

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**A/N: Sorry for not updating. I would've had this up sooner but I was grounded... equaling no computer. ****Sucks, doesn't it? Yes... yes it does. ****So in honor of my release, do you think we could get to 260 reviews? **

**And I know you're dying for the ExB kiss (me too!), all I can say, at this time, is that it's probably about three chapters away. Of course I'm not sure, I haven't even written them yet. But we're close, very close.**

**I jotted down my ideas for future chapters, but whether or not my mind takes me in a different direction is another story. Bare with me here people.**


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